Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Other believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

It is stated that some undergraduates wish to make awareness on
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
various
fieldsaddition
Correct your spelling
fields in addition
to their prioritized subject areas,
while
others think it is crucial to pay their entire attention
ad
Correct your spelling
and
show examples
time towards
learing
Correct your spelling
learning
for
a academic prospects
Correct the article-noun agreement
academic prospects
an academic prospect
show examples
. In my opinion,I believe that
fullfill
Correct your spelling
fulfil
our future
dreamsit
Correct your spelling
dreams
dreams it
is required to obtain knowledge on
multidisclipine
Correct your spelling
multidiscipline
. On the one hand,
according to
some
Add a comma
some,
show examples
it is necessary to complete focussing on university subjects and final graduation.Their time
only
Add a missing verb
is only
show examples
utilize
Wrong verb form
utilised
show examples
for learning and interest for
subject specific
Add a hyphen
subject-specific
show examples
programms
Correct your spelling
programmes
programs
.
Those kind
Change the determiner
That kind
Those kinds
show examples
of individuals ignore all other incidents
andoccasions
Correct your spelling
and occasions
in
Correct article usage
the outerworld
show examples
outerworld
Correct your spelling
outer world
and
donot
Correct your spelling
do not
update their
knohow
Correct your spelling
knowhow
know-how
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
common sense and surroundings.Mostly,their
mortions
Correct your spelling
motions
portions
are limited and trapped encompass in
subject related
Add a hyphen
subject-related
show examples
works.
On the other
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
students prefer to
sharing
Change the verb
share
show examples
knowledge on various subjects.They are keen on
explore
Change the verb form
exploring
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
many sites
anf
Correct your spelling
and
broaden
thei
Correct your spelling
their
the
existing wisdom in many
waysWe
Correct your spelling
ways we
can see some professionals are
multi tasking
Add a hyphen
multi-tasking
show examples
and have capabilities in completely
defferent
Correct your spelling
different
fields.Most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
pupils tend to search
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
various areas
find
Fix the infinitive
to find
show examples
relaxation and enhance their
es=xisting
Correct your spelling
existing
potential.
Finally
,I believe that to be a sustainable human we should have added more qualities and skills which
being
Verb problem
provide
show examples
competitive
Add an article
a competitive
show examples
advantage in career life.
For instance
,today
worls
Correct your spelling
world
most of the
multi national
Correct your spelling
multinational
show examples
companies are seeking
crossdisplinary
Correct your spelling
crossdisciplinary
employees to recruit their organisations.Allocating extra time slots for searching new subjects and
dedicated
Wrong verb form
dedicating
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
various fields is an
investlemnt
Correct your spelling
investment
for youngsters
whill wll
Correct your spelling
which will
be returned in
fruitful
Change the article
a fruitful
show examples
way. In conclusion,it is essential to consider additional fields apart from the routine graduate studies.It may not only
beneficial
Add a missing verb
be beneficial
show examples
to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
personal development but
also
it offers
Correct word choice
many manyoppertunities
show examples
manyoppertunities
Correct your spelling
opportunities
in future
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
.
Submitted by thushari8814 on

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task achievement
The essay does not fully address the prompt in a clear and organized manner. The introduction should succinctly present the topic and clearly outline the points that will be discussed. The essay often veers off-topic and presents unrelated or underdeveloped ideas.
coherence cohesion
The essay's structure needs to be improved. Organize your essay into clear paragraphs - an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should contain one main idea and be connected to the other paragraphs in a logical way. Use cohesive devices effectively to ensure that your ideas flow naturally from one to the next.
coherence cohesion
Your main points must be well-supported with relevant examples or explanations. Avoid general statements and instead provide clear, concrete examples that demonstrate your understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Many sentences are grammatically incorrect or incomprehensible, which greatly hinders the clarity of your ideas. You should work extensively on grammar, syntax, and vocabulary to accurately convey your thoughts.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
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