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Band 4

It is important for people to take risk, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risk outweuigh the disadvatages ?

#people #risk #lives #outweuigh #disadvatages
Taking
risks
 is what we, humans, will inevitably encounter in our lives.
Risks
 refer to the potential consequences that
results
Change the verb form
result
show examples
 from an uncertain situation. In a personal setting,
risks
 could look like expressing feelings towards our crush, confronting our parents or reaching out to an old friend. Meanwhile, in a professional setting,
risks
 could look like joining an organization, submitting a company proposal, or communicating with external stakeholders. By taking a
risk
, the
outcome
 can either be a positive or a negative one. A positive
outcome
 often relates to
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
success
while
 a negative
outcome
 is equated to failure. More often than not, the result of taking
risks
 is able to shape us to be a better individual. Before taking a
risk
, we usually list down both the positive and negative outcomes of a certain situation.
Then
, we decide whether or not to take the
risk
 by weighing both of those outcomes. When we decide to take a
risk
, we learn to brave ourselves up and gradually adapt to uncertainties.
This
 is because we
wouldn'
Verb problem
don't
show examples
t
 know whether we will fail or succeed. If we succeed, we can become more confident and that success shows we have prepared well and other external factors that
goes
Change the verb form
go
show examples
 into play support that.
However
, if we fail, regardless of how well-prepared, we can evaluate where
did
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
things went wrong and think of strategic plans to combat similar situations in the future.
This
 means we are able to gain many lessons and share that knowledge with others.
However
, when we don'
t
 take the
risk
, we
wouldn'
Correct your spelling
won't
t
 gain any of the
outcome
Change to a plural noun
outcomes
show examples
 because we don'
t
 take the step and
chose
Wrong verb form
choose
show examples
 to stay in our comfort zone.
This
 means we wouldn'
t
 know In conclusion, taking
risks
 requires courage to face and accept whatever the consequences may be.
Submitted by lydiaia on

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coherence cohesion
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Include specific, directly relevant examples that support your main points. These examples should illustrate your ideas effectively and be clearly linked to the main argument. Avoid vague or general statements when providing evidence to back your claims.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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