International tourism has become a huge industry in the world. Some people think that the problem caused by international tourism outweigh the benefits. To what extent do you agree? or disagree?

Globally, International tourism has become a popular
bussiness
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business
which enables
Correct article usage
the developing
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developing
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development
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the
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of the
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economy in most countries.
However
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However,
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there is a belief that it has many negative effects
to
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on
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the nation. I totally disagree with that view and will explain the reasons in
this
essay.
Firstly
, tourism all around the world increases the economic growth of the
country
which will
facilitates
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facilitate
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further
developments.
For instance
, if the visitors from all around the world expand, the particular
country
will
recieve
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receive
international money which sometimes comes from developed regions.
As a result
, the savings of
cental
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central
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banks will go high range which the government can use for
development
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the development
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of many divisions
such
as tourism, education, health, transport etc.
Therefore
, it
gives
Verb problem
has
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positive
Correct article usage
a positive
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impacts
Fix the agreement mistake
impact
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in
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on
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every department.
Secondly
, the values, cultures and special places will be highlighted
due to
the visitors who come across the oceans.
That is
to say, people move around the places and explore the lifestyle pattern of other
country
's citizens which they share
in
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on
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social media.
For example
, the followers can see the posts about the travel diaries and it will influence them to experience the same.
Further
, cultural diversity will expand
due to
international travelling which other societies can include
as
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in
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a positive manner.
Therefore
, rituals and values exhibit the significance of each
country
.
However
, some of the local languages and rare cultural habits will be destroyed by
practicing
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practising
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cross cultural
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cross-cultural
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rituals. To explain
this
, most of the young generation forget their mother
tounge
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tongue
nowadays and
using
Wrong verb form
use
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international languages
due to
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for
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study purposes.
As a result
, they are not aware
on
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of
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their own cultural values. In conclusion, despite the eradication of some local cultures,
world wide
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worldwide
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sightseeing brings more advantages locally
as well as
globally
such
as
economical
Replace the word
economic
show examples
growth and showcasing lifestyle patterns of people which some societies can replace the old and improper cultural norms.
Submitted by gaya002.nesa on

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task achievement
Consider developing your main points with more detailed examples, which are relevant to your claims. Enhanced specificity in your supporting evidence will strengthen your argument. Ensure that for each point you introduce, you're also providing clear instances or data to back it up.
coherence cohesion
Strive for logical sequencing of ideas and smooth transitions to improve the flow of your essay. Make sure each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence and that all subsequent sentences within the paragraph support that topic. Cohesion can be reinforced by using appropriate linking words or phrases to connect ideas.
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