Some people say it is important to keep your home and work place tidy with everything organized and in the correct places. What is your opinion about it?
Diversity in
food
sources has prevailed among the supermarkets and this
variety also
has expressed some concerns. This
writer argues that the advantages of economic motives and enhancing citizens' lives outweigh the drawbacks of demolishing traditional markets.
The most advantageous factor of importing foods
from other countries is that it creates a competitive market
that demands efficiency and productivity. In further
detail, local distributors will be faced with many opponents from other sides when supermarkets are allowed to sell a variety of foods
. The foreign distributors will try to improve their food
quality
and cut down the prices to compete against those local distributors, resulting in local sellers being forced to do the same things as foreign ones. As a result
, the local areas will get better quality
food
and this
also
leads to the enhancement in foods
of the whole country
.
Breaking the monopoly of local markets must also
be considered. It can be acknowledged that a monopoly market
is harmful to the country
's economy and citizens' lives. The absence of other opponents and producers will decline the motives to satisfy the local residents. This
is because the local markets do not have to enhance their services because they are the only ones who can sell food
to the residents. From prior knowledge, Indian
Fix the agreement mistake
Indians
had
faced with a poor Verb problem
were
quality
of life in the 20th century when the local sellers had the
monopoly in selling Correct article usage
a
foods
. However
, their standard of living have
improved significantly since the government created a competitive Change the verb form
has
market
in the country
.
Despite those benefits, some people criticize that imported foods
will dominate the traditional ones. Because of the gap between quality
and price, imported foods
will take all the shares in the market
and leave no niches for traditional products. This
may be true, but actual situations around the world have showed
that the local products are unlikely to be totally replaced because they always find a way to thrive in the economy.
Taking all points into account, the possible drawback of demolishing the traditional products is exceeded by the advances of enhancing the Change the verb form
shown
country
economy and citizens' lives. Change noun form
country's
Hence
, it has been demonstrated that a competitive market
includes
many sources of Correct pronoun usage
that includes
food
is more beneficial than harmful.Submitted by AI EO VIP PROOOOO on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Task Achievement
While the essay addresses the prompt, the content is only partially relevant to the question asked. Ensure that the response is directly focused on the question of keeping homes and workplaces tidy, rather than diverging into a discussion on the food market and supermarkets. Stick to the topic to improve task achievement.
Coherence & Cohesion
The essay presents ideas but lacks clear logical sequencing and paragraphing. Use well-structured paragraphs, and ensure each paragraph contains one main idea with supporting sentences. Use cohesive devices appropriately to improve coherence.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.