IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

It is becoming increasingly popular to take a year off between finishing school and going to college. What are the advantages and disadvantages?

#year #school #college
Now days we commonly observe people who not
going
Wrong verb form
go
show examples
 to University after they finish
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
high
school
 ,they spend
one
year
 more before going to
collage
Correct your spelling
college
show examples
 to relax after
they
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 Street
time
 . In
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
 I will put light on both advantages and
dis advantages
Correct your spelling
disadvantages
show examples
. On
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
 hand, there are multifarious advantages of having a rest for
year
Add an article
the year
a year
show examples
 to improve their skills in their life and how they deal with others .
Furthermore
 ,
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of
students
 in the
last
year
 of
theire
Correct your spelling
their
 education in
school
faced
Wrong verb form
face
show examples
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of
difficults
Correct your spelling
difficult
difficulties
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
 and streets . By saying so ,I mean that the
students
 stay in their
house
Fix the agreement mistake
houses
show examples
with out
Correct your spelling
without
show examples
 visiting their relatives or their close friends so they need
time
 to be free .
For example
 , there is
one
 famous
indian
Change the capitalization
Indian
show examples
 girl
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 social media
she
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 did not add any things
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 her account for a
year
 ,after she finished her
last
year
 of
school
 she told us that she
need
Wrong verb form
needed
show examples
 5 years to forget
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
her
last
year
 in
school
 . On
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 hand ,
demerites
Correct your spelling
demerits
demerit
 can not be ignored . First of all
one
year
with out
Correct your spelling
without
show examples
 learning or studying that
lead
Fix the agreement mistake
leads
show examples
 to lazy
students
 and they will forget
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of basic information .
In
addition
Add a comma
addition,
show examples
 when the
students
 are spending
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of
time
 free ,they will
lost
Change the verb form
lose
be lost
show examples
one
year
 of achievements and
creativites
Correct your spelling
creativity
 related to
educational
Add an article
the educational
show examples
 domain .
For instance
 ,
one
year
 of free
time
 and when
students
went
Wrong verb form
go
show examples
 to
collage
Correct your spelling
college
show examples
 they will
fell
Correct your spelling
feel
show examples
 that not want to study and can not sit to learn and that
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
 to
decrease
Correct article usage
a decrease
show examples
 in their level of learning .
Lastly
 ,
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of student after they sit
with out
Correct your spelling
without
show examples
 studying ,they have their own business and
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
decided
Wrong verb form
decide
show examples
 to cancel their
collage
Correct your spelling
college
show examples
. In conclusion,
have
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
one
year
 free between
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
year
 of
school
 and
first
Correct article usage
the first
show examples
year
 of
collage
Correct your spelling
college
show examples
 has both merits and demerits and it
depend
Change the verb form
depends
show examples
 on
individual
Add an article
the individual
show examples
itself
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
.
Thus
, having
one
year
with out
Correct your spelling
without
show examples
 learning can be
benefit
Replace the word
beneficial
show examples
 for
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of
students
 who want to improve
thire
Correct your spelling
their
 learning
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 contrast , it will be
badly
Replace the word
bad for
show examples
who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
show examples
not
Add a missing verb
do not
show examples
 have any
goal
Fix the agreement mistake
goals
show examples
 in their life .
Submitted by fatmaalraqadi579 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
The essay lacks clear organization, with paragraphs that do not have clear topic sentences to signal the main idea. There is also an overuse of personal opinions without sufficient support or examples.
task achievement
The response fails to fully develop ideas or provide detailed examples. It merely states advantages and disadvantages without elaboration or supporting evidence, and there is a lack of focus on answering the question fully.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: