IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

In some countries, the difference in age between parents and children is generally greater than it was in the past. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #difference #age #parents #children #outweigh
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In the contemporary
world
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world,
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 it is a common belief that the
differece
Correct your spelling
difference
differences
 in
age
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 between
parents
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 and
children
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.
While
Linking Words
 there are a number of strong arguments for the advantages of
Use synonyms
difference
Replace the word
different
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Use synonyms
age
Fix the agreement mistake
ages
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 between
parents
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 and
children
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on the contrary
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.I believe that there are
lost
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lots
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 of
dis advantages
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disadvantages
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.
For
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Of
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 these
age
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Use synonyms
difference
Fix the agreement mistake
differences
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parents
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are facing
Wrong verb form
face
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lot's
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lots
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 of problems when they
were
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are
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 old
also
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parents
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are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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facing social issues. When the
age
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difference
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 between
parents
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 and
children
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 comes long.
Parents
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are facing
Wrong verb form
face
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 a problem
that is
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 when they are getting old at that time they
haven't
Rephrase
do not have
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 enough support from
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children
Correct pronoun usage
their children
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 because
of
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apply
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they are not financially and physically stable enough.
For
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instance
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instance,
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 the
daily star
Correct your spelling
Daily Star
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 a prominent newspaper
of
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in
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 Bangladesh reported that, there are 65%
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parents
Change preposition
of parents
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 are facing these
issue
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
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. It is worth pointing out that there are
also
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 arguments supporting the opinion that social issues are more important.Because we are social animals.We don't live without social. Some
of
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apply
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people
are gossiping
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gossip
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with
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about
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another
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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the
difference
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 between
parents
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 and
children
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. In conclusion
its
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it's
it is
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 clear that there are disadvantages
of
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to
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age
Use synonyms
difference
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about
Change preposition
between
show examples
parents
Use synonyms
 and
children
Use synonyms
Submitted by ilhanctg2019 on

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task achievement
The essay demonstrates a basic level of understanding of the task, but the ideas are somewhat unclear and underdeveloped. To improve, ensure that the introduction clearly addresses the question, stating whether advantages or disadvantages are considered to outweigh the other. Main paragraphs should be structured carefully, each one presenting a single clear idea, supported by specific examples or evidence. A conclusion should summarise the main points and restate your position clearly. Try to ensure that each part of the task is addressed adequately for a complete response.
coherence cohesion
Coherence refers to the flow of ideas and cohesion to the 'glue' that holds sentences and paragraphs together. This essay's ideas do not flow logically, and the cohesion between them is weak, which makes it difficult to follow. To improve, plan the structure of your essay before writing, with a clear progression from introduction to body paragraphs to conclusion. Use a range of cohesive devices (e.g., conjunctions, pronouns, synonyms) to link sentences and ideas. Check that your paragraphs are well-organized, each starting with a topic sentence that introduces the main idea of the paragraph.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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