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Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The chart below shows information about the challenges people face when they go to live in other countries ▪️Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows information about the challenges people face when they go to live in other countries ▪️Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#information #challenges #people #face #countries #▪️summarise #features #comparisons
The chart describes the data about the
challenge
Fix the agreement mistake
challenges
show examples
population
Correct article usage
the population
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who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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are facing
to live
Change the verb form
living
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 in other
staes
Correct your spelling
states
stages
. Comparison by percentages in three
differents
Correct your spelling
different
show examples
 groups.
From the
Change preposition
The
show examples
overall
, learning the local
languages
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the elder
age
 was
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the top
while
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
making was lowest. Following by the young
age
group
 was
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
middle
Add an article
the middle
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 of the comparison. Despite that
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the middle
age
group
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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stood
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the same level of three factors. Starting at the
age
 of 18 to 34 they are more pointing on making
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
friends at 46% and finding somewhere to live at 40%, was less
propotion
Correct your spelling
proportion
 that are interested in the local
languages
 at 29%.
While
, the
age
 of 35 to 54 are on the average in those three factors, making friends and learning
languages
 was standing at 35% -36% and finding places to live was stood at 39%.
However
, the
last
group
 of
age
 was
Add an article
an elder
the elder
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elder
Correct word choice
elderly
show examples
group
.
Poeple
Correct your spelling
People
 who are retired from their work ahs more
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
 to do
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
what they need to. Learning
the
Correct article usage
apply
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others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
languages
 was the highest at 54% and making 23%
then
 22% of them
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 interested in
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
finding places to live
Submitted by Chaiyapat Soka on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words languages, age, group with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "comparison" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stood" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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