IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The chart below shows information about the challenges people face when they go to live in other countries ▪️Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows information about the challenges people face when they go to live in other countries ▪️Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#information #challenges #people #face #countries #▪️summarise #features #comparisons
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The chart describes the data about the
challenge
Fix the agreement mistake
challenges
show examples
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
are facing
to live
Change the verb form
living
show examples
 in other
staes
Correct your spelling
states
stages
. Comparison by percentages in three
differents
Correct your spelling
different
show examples
 groups.
From the
Change preposition
The
show examples
overall
Linking Words
, learning the local
languages
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the elder
age
Use synonyms
 was
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the top
while
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
making was lowest. Following by the young
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 was
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
middle
Add an article
the middle
show examples
 of the comparison. Despite that
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the middle
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
stood
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the same level of three factors. Starting at the
age
Use synonyms
 of 18 to 34 they are more pointing on making
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
friends at 46% and finding somewhere to live at 40%, was less
propotion
Correct your spelling
proportion
 that are interested in the local
languages
Use synonyms
 at 29%.
While
Linking Words
, the
age
Use synonyms
 of 35 to 54 are on the average in those three factors, making friends and learning
languages
Use synonyms
 was standing at 35% -36% and finding places to live was stood at 39%.
However
Linking Words
, the
last
Linking Words
group
Use synonyms
 of
age
Use synonyms
 was
Add an article
an elder
the elder
show examples
elder
Correct word choice
elderly
show examples
group
Use synonyms
.
Poeple
Correct your spelling
People
 who are retired from their work ahs more
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
 to do
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
what they need to. Learning
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
languages
Use synonyms
 was the highest at 54% and making 23%
then
Linking Words
 22% of them
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 interested in
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
finding places to live
Submitted by Chaiyapat Soka on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words languages, age, group with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "comparison" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "stood" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: