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Writing Samples
Band 6

The pie charts show the size of classes in primary schools in four states in Australia in 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie charts show the size of classes in primary schools in four states in Australia in 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The price illustrates a detailed breakdown of
class
Use synonyms
 sizes in primary
schools
Use synonyms
 across 4
states
Use synonyms
 of Australia in the year 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, it could be seen that
while
Linking Words
 the level of 21 to 25
students
Use synonyms
 contributed the highest in 3 out of 4
states
Use synonyms
, except for South Australia, the opposite was true in the
class
Use synonyms
size
Use synonyms
 of 30
students
Use synonyms
 or more.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, New South Wales’s primary
schools
Use synonyms
 shared a common tendency of
class
Use synonyms
size
Use synonyms
 from 21 to 25
students
Use synonyms
, which experienced 37% in 2010 and the second position was a
class
Use synonyms
 including 20
students
Use synonyms
 or fewer with 26%. A similar trend could be seen in 4
class
Use synonyms
 sizes of Western Australia’s primary
schools
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, the distribution of
classes
Use synonyms
 from 30
students
Use synonyms
 or more witnessed 5% in Western Australia compared to 4% in New South Wales. Looking at the rest, primary
schools
Use synonyms
 in the Australian Capital Territory attributed the highest percentage of
classes
Use synonyms
 with 21 to 25
students
Use synonyms
, 51%.
Besides
Linking Words
, the level of
classes
Use synonyms
 with under 20
students
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 contributed the most dominant portion in 4
states
Use synonyms
, 38%.
However
Linking Words
, the
class
Use synonyms
size
Use synonyms
 of more than 30
students
Use synonyms
 shared the lowest proportion, 1%. In South America, the significant difference was that the percentage of
classes
Use synonyms
 with 21 to 25
students
Use synonyms
 was not the most common
class
Use synonyms
size
Use synonyms
 as in 4
states
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 it belonged to
classes
Use synonyms
 with 20
students
Use synonyms
 or fewer, 33% compared to 36%.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words class, schools, states, students, size, classes with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • primary school
  • class size
  • proportion
  • average
  • trends
  • small/medium/large classes
  • implications
  • quality of education
  • teacher workload
  • comparison
  • variance
  • state-by-state analysis
  • education policy
  • statistical representation
  • pie chart interpretation
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