Nowadays, we are surround by advertising in our daily lives. Some people believe this has a positive effect on society. Others, however, say that it is a negative development. Discuss with both views and give your own opinion.

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During our current life, we constantly interact with advertisements. Literally every aspect of our life is full of commercials, from watching TV to banners on trains
while
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commuting. Some people consider
this
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fact as beneficial for society,
while
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others argue that
such
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a trend is rather negative. In
this
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essay, I attempt to discover both points of view and my own ideas. First of all, there is no doubt that advertising promotes the consumption of goods and,
as a result
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, selling and,
further
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by
this
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chain, it causes an impact on the economy. A constantly growing economy leads to opening new workplaces, paying more taxes and stimulating technology development.
For example
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, after
Correct article usage
a successfull

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successfull
Correct your spelling
successful
successfully

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promotion
campaing
Correct your spelling
campaign

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out chain retail company opened 3 more branches in another city to serve an increased demand. All
this
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together serves
such
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goals as a more stable society with low levels of unemployment, high budgets for social support, free medicine and education, and,
in addition
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,
overall
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human development.
On the other hand
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, people who oppose the widespread of ads argue that they increase consumerism, fast fashion and not sustainable ways of living. It has been well established in the scientific literature that the human brain reacts to visual stimuli and 80% of all information we get from sight, so constantly bombarding an individual with nice-looking and appealing pictures can lead him or her to raise a desire to have something, even though
this
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

is already the 5th new dress
this
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month. It is hard to argue that
this
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behaviour promotes overproduction, water and air pollution, and exhaustion of natural resources. In conclusion, there is an ongoing debate about
advertising
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advertising's

It seems that this noun form may be incorrect.

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benefits and drawbacks.
While
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some argue that more commercials can lead to multiple benefits caused by a growing economy, others
bring arguments
Verb problem
argue

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that it influences consumption patterns and leads to unsustainable ways of living.
Although
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,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma after the subordinating conjunction Although. Consider removing the comma.

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I appreciate all the positive outcomes that get from promoting goods and services, I strongly believe that the problem of overconsumption has a tremendous impact on our environment and needs to be addressed as soon as possible.
Submitted by mnb54ya3flc on

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task achievement
Ensure you maintain a clear central argument throughout the essay to guide your reader more effectively.
task achievement
Expand on your examples to better support your main points and arguments. This could involve more detailed and specific information rather than general statements.
coherence cohesion
Work on the linkage of ideas between paragraphs for smoother transitions and better cohesion. Use a wider range of cohesive devices and topic sentences that clearly reflect the content of the paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion should more strongly encapsulate your overall argument, ensuring it reflects the discussion had within the body of the essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Advertising
  • Consumer spending
  • Informative
  • Economic growth
  • Free content
  • Media
  • Over-commercialization
  • Materialistic values
  • Vulnerable groups
  • Misleading information
  • Information overload
  • Decision fatigue
  • Artificial needs
  • Overspending
  • Regulations
  • Consumer education
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