IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Many people believe that university students should study a full of range of suject, instead of some spesific subjects. To what extent do you agree or disagree? give reason for your answer and include any relevan example from own knowledge or experience.

#people #university #students #study #range #spesific #subjects #reason #relevan
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Many people think that rather than focusing on a few core subjects, university
students
 should study a wide variety of subjects. In my opinion,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 disagree with
this
 statement because it helps them focus and prepare future
plan
Fix the agreement mistake
plans
show examples
. The biggest reason why
students
 need to learn specific
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
show examples
 is efficiency and focus. Specialized programs may enable
students
 to complete their education more efficiently, focusing on the skills and knowledge directly relevant to their future careers.
This
 efficiency can be especially beneficial in fields with clear professional pathways. Another reason is meeting Industry Needs. Specializing in specific subjects allows
students
 to develop a deep expertise in their chosen field.
This
 in-depth knowledge can be essential for certain professions and research-oriented careers. specialization is necessary to meet the specific demands of certain industries. Professionals in science, technology, engineering, and medicine often require specialized knowledge and skills. In conclusion, university
students
 really need to learn
spesific
Correct your spelling
specific
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
show examples
 because it
allow
Change the verb form
allows
show examples
 them to focus and be ready to take
job
Add an article
the job
a job
show examples
.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and Cohesion
With regards to 'Coherence and Cohesion', your essay contains a logical flow of ideas but is lacking in clear paragraphing and varied cohesive devices. To improve, create distinct paragraphs for each main point and employ a wider range of linking words and transition phrases to enhance coherence.
Task Achievement
Regarding 'Task Achievement', you have attempted to address the question, but the response could be developed further. Include a clearer position statement in your introduction. Also, strive to support your main points with relevant, specific examples, rather than general statements. Expand on your ideas to create a more comprehensive argument, which demonstrates a full understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: