Some people think that government should spend tax payers’ funds on cultural activities such as music or art. Others think this is a waste of money. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Every
people
in a Fix the agreement mistake
person
country
pays their tax
to the Fix the agreement mistake
taxes
government
and some people
thinks
that Correct subject-verb agreement
think
government
should spend Correct article usage
the government
tax
payers’ Correct your spelling
the
funds
on different activities
such
as Entertaining
Replace the word
Entertainment
activities
( music ) or different things
like art. But most of
Change preposition
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
people
thinks
that it is a waste of Correct subject-verb agreement
think
money
. I would like to discuss both views from
Change preposition
in
this
essay and give my own opinion.
Firstly
, I can say that spending funds
on cultural activities
such
as music and arts is good
thing Add an article
a good
to
the cultural industry. Governments should spend Change preposition
for
money
on these activities
to develop as a country
. Because younger students and people
will eventually get in to
these cultural Join the words
into
activities
such
as music and arts. Not only that, then
this
industry will develop day by day and it is good for people
like traditional musicians, traditional dancers and many more people
who is
related to cultural Change the verb form
are
things
. Spending money
on these activities
mostly give
benefits to school children too. For Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
an
example, nowadays lots of kids Correct article usage
apply
attached
Add a missing verb
are attached
with
lots of studies and Change preposition
to
Internet
too. Because of these Correct article usage
the Internet
things
we can expect a downfall in cultural Add a comma
things,
activities
. So if government
spend Correct article usage
the government
funds
and develop
these Correct subject-verb agreement
develops
things
, then
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
also
will
experience those Verb problem
apply
things
and they will also
used to
Verb problem
be
involve
Wrong verb form
involved
to
these Change preposition
in
activities
.
On the other hand
, some people
thinks
that Spending Change the verb form
think
tax
payers’ funds
on cultural activities
is a waste of money
and they suspects
Correct subject-verb agreement
suspect
to spend
those Change the verb form
spending
funds
which is
related to developing the Change the verb form
are
country
and helping to
Change preposition
apply
people
who need money
. We can see that some countries do not have good public transportation system
in the society. So if Fix the agreement mistake
systems
government
spend those Correct article usage
the government
tax payers’
Correct your spelling
taxpayers’
funds
on these kinds of things
will develop the country
more and also
it will help to
the Change preposition
apply
country
Change noun form
country's
people
too. So it is like killing two birds with a
one stone. Not only that, for Remove the article
apply
an
example, Correct article usage
apply
government
can spend Add an article
the government
those
Change the determiner
that money
money
to
poor students who need Change preposition
on
education
well.
In Correct article usage
an education
conclusion
I can say that governments can spend Add a comma
conclusion,
those
Change the determiner
that money
money
on cultural activities
, but after viewing both sides I can say that my opinion is, spending tax
payers’ money
on education and developing country
is the best thing that Fix the agreement mistake
countries
government
should do.Submitted by shevonsavidhu14 on
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Introduction
Ensure the introduction clearly presents both views and your thesis statement, which will inform the reader about what to expect in the essay. Your introduction should more directly address the prompt and establish a roadmap for your discussion.
Body
Develop your main points with relevant and specific examples. Both your arguments for and against spending on cultural activities need to be supported with clear examples and evidence, which will enhance the quality of your argumentation and the overall task response.
Conclusion
In the conclusion, restate your thesis and summarize your main points. Conclusions should be concise and directly aligned with the content of the essay. Ensure that your opinion is clear and well justified with supporting arguments from the body paragraphs.
Coherence & Cohesion
Improve the structure and flow of the essay by using cohesive devices effectively. Although individual sentences may be well-constructed, the logical flow from sentence to sentence and between paragraphs could be enhanced for better coherence and cohesion.
Task Response
To ensure a complete task response, make sure that the discussion covers all aspects of the question and provides a balanced view before giving your opinion. Elaborate on the reasons behind each viewpoint and demonstrate understanding of the nuances in the argument.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite
