Some people think that government should spend tax payers’ funds on cultural activities such as music or art. Others think this is a waste of money. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Every
Use synonyms
people
Fix the agreement mistake
person
show examples
in a
country
Use synonyms
pays their
Use synonyms
tax
Fix the agreement mistake
taxes
show examples
to the
government
Use synonyms
and some
people
Use synonyms
thinks
Correct subject-verb agreement
think
show examples
that
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
should spend
Use synonyms
tax
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
payers’
funds
Use synonyms
on different
activities
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
as
Entertaining
Replace the word
Entertainment
show examples
activities
Use synonyms
( music ) or different
things
Use synonyms
like art. But most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
thinks
Correct subject-verb agreement
think
show examples
that it is a waste of
money
Use synonyms
. I would like to discuss both views
from
Change preposition
in
show examples
this
Linking Words
essay and give my own opinion.
Firstly
Linking Words
, I can say that spending
funds
Use synonyms
on cultural
activities
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
as music and arts is
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
thing
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
the cultural industry. Governments should spend
money
Use synonyms
on these
activities
Use synonyms
to develop as a
country
Use synonyms
. Because younger students and
people
Use synonyms
will eventually get
in to
Join the words
into
show examples
these cultural
activities
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
as music and arts. Not only that,
then
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
industry will develop day by day and it is good for
people
Use synonyms
like traditional musicians, traditional dancers and many more
people
Use synonyms
who
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
related to cultural
things
Use synonyms
. Spending
money
Use synonyms
on these
activities
Use synonyms
mostly
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
show examples
benefits to school children too. For
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
example, nowadays lots of kids
attached
Add a missing verb
are attached
show examples
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
lots of studies and
Internet
Correct article usage
the Internet
show examples
too. Because of these
Use synonyms
things
Add a comma
things,
show examples
we can expect a downfall in cultural
activities
Use synonyms
. So if
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
spend
funds
Use synonyms
and
develop
Correct subject-verb agreement
develops
show examples
these
things
Use synonyms
,
then
Linking Words
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
also
Linking Words
will
Verb problem
apply
show examples
experience those
things
Use synonyms
and they will
also
Linking Words
used to
Verb problem
be
show examples
involve
Wrong verb form
involved
show examples
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
these
activities
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
thinks
Change the verb form
think
show examples
that Spending
tax
Use synonyms
payers’
funds
Use synonyms
on cultural
activities
Use synonyms
is a waste of
money
Use synonyms
and they
suspects
Correct subject-verb agreement
suspect
show examples
to spend
Change the verb form
spending
show examples
those
funds
Use synonyms
which
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
related to developing the
country
Use synonyms
and helping
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
who need
money
Use synonyms
. We can see that some countries do not have good public transportation
system
Fix the agreement mistake
systems
show examples
in the society. So if
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
spend those
Use synonyms
tax payers’
Correct your spelling
taxpayers’
show examples
funds
Use synonyms
on these kinds of
things
Use synonyms
will develop the
country
Use synonyms
more and
also
Linking Words
it will help
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Use synonyms
country
Change noun form
country's
show examples
people
Use synonyms
too. So it is like killing two birds with
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
one stone. Not only that, for
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
example,
Use synonyms
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
can spend
those
Change the determiner
that money
show examples
money
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
poor students who need
education
Correct article usage
an education
show examples
well. In
conclusion
Add a comma
conclusion,
show examples
I can say that governments can spend
those
Change the determiner
that money
show examples
money
Use synonyms
on cultural
activities
Use synonyms
, but after viewing both sides I can say that my opinion is, spending
tax
Use synonyms
payers’
money
Use synonyms
on education and developing
Use synonyms
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
is the best thing that
government
Use synonyms
should do.
Submitted by shevonsavidhu14 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction
Ensure the introduction clearly presents both views and your thesis statement, which will inform the reader about what to expect in the essay. Your introduction should more directly address the prompt and establish a roadmap for your discussion.
Body
Develop your main points with relevant and specific examples. Both your arguments for and against spending on cultural activities need to be supported with clear examples and evidence, which will enhance the quality of your argumentation and the overall task response.
Conclusion
In the conclusion, restate your thesis and summarize your main points. Conclusions should be concise and directly aligned with the content of the essay. Ensure that your opinion is clear and well justified with supporting arguments from the body paragraphs.
Coherence & Cohesion
Improve the structure and flow of the essay by using cohesive devices effectively. Although individual sentences may be well-constructed, the logical flow from sentence to sentence and between paragraphs could be enhanced for better coherence and cohesion.
Task Response
To ensure a complete task response, make sure that the discussion covers all aspects of the question and provides a balanced view before giving your opinion. Elaborate on the reasons behind each viewpoint and demonstrate understanding of the nuances in the argument.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: