IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

this is the police budget and how the money was spent in 2017 and 2018. Make a summary and compare when relevant

The given table and pie charts illustrate the police
budget
Use synonyms
 between 2017 and 2018. The currency used in
this
Linking Words
 report is
euro
Correct article usage
the euro
show examples
. Looking at the
overall
Linking Words
 perspective, despite the slight change in
both
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
, the
budget
Use synonyms
 remained stable throughout the given period.
Similarly
Linking Words
, the proportion of money spent in
both
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
 is
also
Linking Words
 relatively unchanged. Taking a closer look at the biggest
budget
Use synonyms
 source, which was the national government, there was a small increase
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
 2
million
Use synonyms
 in 2018
while
Linking Words
 other sources
centered
Change the spelling
centred
show examples
 roughly
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
38
million
Use synonyms
 in
both
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
year
Change to a plural noun
years
show examples
.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, Local taxes
initially
Linking Words
 contributed 91.2
million
Use synonyms
 before experiencing a dramatic growth to 102.3
million
Use synonyms
 in the
last
Linking Words
year
Use synonyms
. Regarding
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the money usage, it was used mainly for salaries of officers and
staffs
Fix the agreement mistake
staff
show examples
 (75% in 2017). In spite of the moderate fall, it endured to be the highest
expenditures
Fix the agreement mistake
expenditure
show examples
 (69%) of
police
Correct article usage
the police
show examples
budget
Use synonyms
 among other categories.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
budget
Correct article usage
the budget
show examples
 for technology stood at 8% in 2017 before increasing to almost twofold in the following
year
Use synonyms
.
Lastly
Linking Words
, the money spent
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 building and transport persisted at 17% in
both
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
year
Change to a plural noun
years
show examples
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

structure
Ensure that you have a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusive statement. The introduction should state the purpose of the essay and provide an overview of the contents. Each body paragraph should focus on one main idea and be supported with specific details. The essay should end with a clear conclusion that summarizes the main points and relates them to the overall topic.
cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices to help relate ideas and paragraphs to each other more clearly for the reader. Additionally, use paragraphing effectively, with each paragraph having a clear central topic that is developed logically.
development
For a higher score in this area, provide more detailed explanations and develop arguments more fully. The response needs to address all parts of the task sufficiently, which means discussing all key features of the charts or tables provided and making comparisons where relevant.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: