Nowadays more and more business meetings and business trainings are taking place online. 🔸Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

It is known that we are lives
teacnology
Correct your spelling
technology
times, that's why
i
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I
show examples
strongly believe that business meeting and
trainings
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training
pieces of training
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are place
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are placed
are placing
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online is so advantage for
everyboday
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everybody
. I will
expline
Correct your spelling
explain
what are
that
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those
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adwantages
Correct your spelling
advantages
advantage
in
this
essay.
First,
online
meeting
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meetings
show examples
give
as
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us
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our
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apply
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time,
that
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which
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is
big
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a big
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change if we live crowdid
city
or work at
place
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a place
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which is so for our
center
of
bussunes
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business
.
For example
one of my
friand
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friends
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work
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works
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in his
county
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country
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which is 50 km
far
Rephrase
away
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to
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from
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city
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the city
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center
.
However
, his company
in
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is in
show examples
the
city
center
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centre
show examples
.
He hes
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He's
some
metting
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meeting
about his bissinice but he
shuld
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should
not go to
city
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the city
show examples
center
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centre
show examples
he can
tolk
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talk
on
watsapp
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whatsapp
alicatation
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elicitation
and it
it
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is
show examples
enouf
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enough
for him. İf
teacnology
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technology
was not
devalopment
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development
matbe
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maybe
he could not live in his county or he should go to
city
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the city
show examples
center
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centre
show examples
for every
meetin
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meeting
that is
lost money and time for him. That example
show
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shows
show examples
us
Correct word choice
that teacnology
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teacnology
Correct your spelling
technology
gives
our
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us
show examples
time and
save
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saves
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money.
Second,
face to
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face-to-face
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face
meting
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meeting
show examples
doesn
Correct your spelling
does
not well than online
meting
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meeting
show examples
if
face to
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face-to-face
show examples
face
meting
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meeting
show examples
does not record
to
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apply
show examples
the meeting.
On the other hand
, every online meeting we can save for
future
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the future
show examples
becuse
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because
when live problem we can
chak
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change
the meeting and we can solution about the problem.
For instance
, one of the
meneger meked
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managers made
meeting
Correct article usage
a meeting
show examples
but his employee did not
listening
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listen to
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the
meneger
Correct your spelling
manager
manger
and they did their job wrong. After the wrong
work
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work,
show examples
they blame their
meneger
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manager
.
However
, the
meneger
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manager
manger
is so smart a person because he
was save
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saved
show examples
the
all
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
online
meeting
Fix the agreement mistake
meetings
show examples
.
Then
he
show
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shows
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
they
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
,
that is
not
him
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his
show examples
fouls,
that is
their fouls.
İt
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This
is
thank
Wrong verb form
thanks
show examples
to
teacnology
Correct your spelling
technology
and online
meeting
Fix the agreement mistake
meetings
show examples
. To some
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
,
teacnology
Correct your spelling
technology
is
friand
Correct your spelling
friend
show examples
humans because it
is make
Wrong verb form
makes
show examples
our
life
esiars
Correct your spelling
essays
we
shold
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should
use it
ever where
Correct your spelling
everywhere
show examples
.
in
Capitalize word
In
show examples
my opinion, people use the
teacnology
Correct your spelling
technology
every where
Correct your spelling
everywhere
show examples
for example
in
bussinise
Correct your spelling
business
life
, social
life
or
educatation
Correct your spelling
education
life
. Every
bessenes
Correct your spelling
bestness
person
shold
Correct your spelling
should
use to
oniline meetin
Correct your spelling
online meetings
that is
healt
Correct your spelling
healthy
because not
face to
Add a hyphen
face-to-face
show examples
face
as
everboday
Correct your spelling
everybody
known we
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
live pandemic and a lot of people
Add a missing verb
are affeted
show examples
affeted
Correct your spelling
affected
.
Submitted by ares.grup on

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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks clear structure, with paragraphs not logically connected. An introduction and conclusion are present but not developed. It would benefit from a clearer outline and more distinct paragraphs with topic sentences and concluding statements.
task achievement
The essay does not fully address the prompt effectively. The task was to discuss whether the advantages of online meetings and trainings outweigh the disadvantages, but the disadvantages are not assessed. The examples given are relevant, but the overall argument is not comprehensive or fully developed.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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