Some people believe that all children should have a pet or an animal to look after. What could be the benefits and drawbacks of this notion?

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Certain groups believe that
children
should
care
for domestic
animals
.
This
essay
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
discuss the advantages and disadvantages for
children
of caring
animals
Change preposition
for animals
show examples
. Some groups who support the idea of treating
pets
in the house intend to give teenagers an additional activity in
such
a situation.
For example
, when youth play with dogs, it would encourage more walking and running. By doing so it will help
children
improve their physical durability.
Furthermore
, it is true that fostering
pets
during childhood would improve empathy and affection.
by Involving
Correct your spelling
By involving
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
caring
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
pets
directly,
children
would be
awared
Correct your spelling
aware
awarded
that their domestic
animals
also
live like humans who need food, leaving home, and
also
love.
An affection
Remove the article
Affection
show examples
does not grow in the flash time when they mature
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but needs to build during childhood. By doing so, youth would learn to
care
for each other.
In contrast
, the opponent of
this
view,
Add a missing verb
is thal
show examples
thal
Correct your spelling
that
show examples
all houses do not have enough space for
pets
.
Furthermore
, the budget
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
fostering
animals
is relatively expensive and unaffordable for any society.
For example
in terms of medical
care
,
pets
need an enormous amount of money for specific drugs
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
different ages to fight diseases and for vaccination. By following the statement above
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
taking
care
of
animals
would depend on some essential terms like the home size and
also
the capability to support
animals
live
instead
of just thinking about the kid's interest.
To conclude
, having a pet for kids would bring advantages for
children
's development, but
on the other
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
it
also
needs some affordability that can not affect any
Children
.
Submitted by ir221299 on

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introduction conclusion present
The essay attempts to address both the benefits and drawbacks of children caring for pets; however, it could benefit from a clearer and stronger introduction and conclusion that effectively paraphrase the prompt and tie the main ideas together.
logical structure
The essay has a basic structure and attempts to link ideas, but transitions could be smoother and the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs could be improved to enhance coherence.
supported main points
The main points are present, yet the supporting details and examples are quite general and lack specificity. The use of more precise and varied examples would help in substantiating the points being made.
complete response
You have completed the task by discussing both sides of the argument, but it would benefit from a more developed response that delves deeper into the nuances of the topic. Aim to provide a balanced discussion with well-developed ideas for both the benefits and drawbacks.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your task response displays understanding but is somewhat repetitive and lacks depth in some areas. Introduce more varied comprehensive ideas to showcase complexity in thinking.
relevant specific examples
While you mention examples, to achieve a higher band, you should provide specific, relevant examples that vividly illustrate the points and enhance the overall argument's persuasiveness.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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