Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

While
university
students
have been increasingly seen to have the desire
of studying
Change preposition
to study
show examples
more
subjects
on top of their main ones, the objectors including their parents would like them to contribute their
time
and effort to only
things
that are parts of a qualification. Both sides have their own direction of looking at the
phenomenom
Correct your spelling
phenomenon
because
this
is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
matter of individual priorities and preferences. As someone
thinking
Wrong verb form
who thinks
show examples
it is better to let people have their
chances
Fix the agreement mistake
chance
show examples
to explore the world
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
studying different
things
they are interested in, I advocate the
students
' wish in
this
case. With regard to the objectors' point of view, other than spending
time
on
things
not in the curriculum
then
getting distracted from the main path and performing poorly in academics,
students
should focus only on what
required
Add a missing verb
is required
show examples
for their educational achievements.
This
is not something new related to conflicts between children and their guardians or even teachers because art classes and clubs after school
such
as painting, music and instruments or certain sports are conservatively seen as
things
for low academic performers that will not be successful later in life.
For instance
, in Asian countries like South Korea and China,
students
are supposed to stick to their school's
literay-centric
Correct your spelling
literary-centric
literacy-centric
programs ,
the
Correct word choice
and the
show examples
other
subjects
for recreation
such
as dance are discouraged until their
graduate
Replace the word
graduation
show examples
and first jobs.
In contrast
, university goers claim to know what they are doing and how their choices affect their lives. The reasons for their desire for more minor
subjects
are because of the mental balance or new discoveries found in different
things
they try especially when they are in their most energetic and curious phases of life. A related report in 2005 in Japan said that more interviewees, by 30%, admitted that they regret not trying new
things
and
subjects
other than their main courses in
colleges
Fix the agreement mistake
college
show examples
since as they grew older, they did not only have
time
but
also
energy for them. I reckon
this
as
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
a loss that people should avoid in their lives since there is nothing more important than figuring ourselves out through what we want to know
besides
what we must study to get qualifications as a
back-up
Correct your spelling
backup
show examples
plan later on. In conclusion, it is all
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
matter of choice where young enthusiastic
students
want to save experiences and joy
while
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
others want them to save
time
, money and even
efforts
Fix the agreement mistake
effort
show examples
. Both ways work for people that give
credits
Fix the agreement mistake
credit
show examples
to them, though I prefer
students
trialling
Replace the word
try
show examples
their favourite
subjects
to find their own way and interest out of the mutual and primary ones where the majority has to go for them.
Submitted by camcat.viking on

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introduction conclusion present
Ensure that an essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. The introduction did not clearly state the essay's central claims or outline the structure of the discussion, and the conclusion was weak in summarizing the key points and reinforcing the writer's opinion.
logical structure
Work on organizing ideas more logically and coherently. Paragraphs should be clearly demarcated, and each should deal with one aspect of the argument. Logical connectors should be used to improve the flow of ideas from one sentence to another.
supported main points
Support main points with clear and specific examples. This essay had some general examples but lacked depth and specificity to strongly support the arguments being made.
complete response
Ensure that both views are fully and equally discussed in the essay. This is necessary to completely fulfill the task. The essay should maintain a balance between discussing the views and the writer's own opinion.
clear comprehensive ideas
Work on clarity and avoid overly long sentences and repetition. This can obscure the point being made and reduce the comprehensiveness of ideas.
relevant specific examples
Include specific, real-world examples to illustrate arguments. Each argument should be reinforced with evidence or a case study that concretely supports the point being made.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
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