Some people believe that it is essential to include physical education classes in the curriculum for all school-age children. Others think that children’s time is better spent on more academic subjects. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
It is thought by many individuals that all educational institutions should consider making extra-curricular activities
as
Correct your spelling
a
vital
part of their syllabus Add an article
a vital
while
other suggests
that the time spent on theoretical subjects is more Change the verb form
suggest
favorable
to kids. In my opinion, sports activities are as important as Change the spelling
favourable
the
academic subjects so they should be given an equal preference.
Proponents of the view in favor of setting exercises as an important part of Correct article usage
apply
system
Add an article
the system
says
that Correct subject-verb agreement
say
this
practice is beneficial to the students. In other words
, it will improve not only their mental health but also
the
physical. It will Change the word
their
also
build a sense of team work
among them. One illustration of Correct your spelling
teamwork
this
is playing football boost
the Correct subject-verb agreement
boosts
overall
well-being of person
because it keeps their mind fresh and stress-free. Correct article usage
a person
Additionally
, team building perception is also
developed among them by pursuing this
sport.
Patrons who are in favor
of spending more time only on academic subjects Change the spelling
favour
believes
that it opens the doors Change the verb form
believe
of
many opportunities for youngsters in future. Change preposition
to
For instance
, students who spent
more time Wrong verb form
spend
in
studying books are often intelligent. They do very well in class exams. Change preposition
apply
Therefore
, chances
of getting scholarships from highly reputed universities are higher for them rather than others.
From my perspective, physical exercises have equal importance as Correct article usage
the chances
academia
courses. It helps children in many aspects of their lives Replace the word
academic
whereas
Correct word choice
while
also
provide
them Wrong verb form
providing
opportunity
Add an article
the opportunity
an opportunity
in getting
their names Change preposition
to get
Add the particle
to enlist
enlist
in prominent teams Wrong verb form
enlisted
of
their countries. Change preposition
in
Moreover
, many athletes these days are earning big sum
of money so one cannot make an assumption on whether it will make them successful in future or not.
Fix the agreement mistake
sums
To conclude
, I agree that physical educations
must Fix the agreement mistake
education
include
in Wrong verb form
be included
curriculum
for all ages of students in schools so that they can keep themselves fit Add an article
the curriculum
along with
keeping their Change preposition
while
mind
fresh and steady.Fix the agreement mistake
minds
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coherence cohesion
Make sure to structure your essay correctly with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should have a clear central idea.
coherence cohesion
Develop your main points more fully, using more varied sentence structures, vocabulary, and link your ideas better to make the argument more persuasive. Cohesion between ideas could be improved.
task achievement
While you addressed the task, some of your examples could be developed further to fully explain your points. It would be beneficial to provide more data or research to back up your claims.
task achievement
Ensure that both views and your own opinion are balanced and fully explained. In some instances, one side may need more support to be equally presented.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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