IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that employers should not be concerned about the way their employees dress, but they should be concerned about the quality at work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #employers #employees #dress #quality #work
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In
this
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 modern age, people dress
according to
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 their own style.
While
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this
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 has become an issue in the world of professionalism, many believe that the point of focus should be the quality of their work.
Therefore
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 I agree with the latter part,
instead
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 of pushing a ridiculous agenda, companies should count on people who have a great educational background and
discipline
Wrong verb form
disciplined
show examples
 work ethic. It is true that clothes can represent the person who is wearing them. Since the early days, garments have been used to identify one's social status, and nowadays,
high end
Add a hyphen
high-end
show examples
 brands
became
Wrong verb form
have become
show examples
 every individual interest as a tool to upgrade themself.
For instance
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, men who wear blazers and tailored pants were highly appreciated, and perceived as someone with a great corporate job.
Although
Linking Words
this
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 issue has become the talk of the field, there
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 zero
possibilities
Fix the agreement mistake
possibility
show examples
 of others who dress differently being incompetent at working on their assignment. As an example, start-up jobs with young employees mostly did not state a designated dress code, which means that any appropriate clothing is received proudly.
Thus
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, the quote “
don’t
Capitalize word
Don’t
show examples
 judge a book by its cover” could be the most relatable saying for
this
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 problem. In conclusion, certain corporations might still have their own rule for a suitable way of dressing, though
this
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 should not be a genuine concern for them. Everyone can present their identity with stuff that they were wearing, but it can not fully address their way of doing their responsibility. It is more important that leaders pay attention to their
workers
Change to a genitive case
worker's
workers'
show examples
 ability to perform well
instead
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.
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Introduction/Conclusion Presence
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Logical Structure
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Supported Main Points
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Complete Response
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Clear and Comprehensive Ideas
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Relevant and Specific Examples
Incorporate more relevant and specific examples to support your arguments. These examples should be directly linked to your main ideas and contribute to the illustration of your points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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