Some people believe that computers and the internet are more important to a child’s education than schools and teachers. However, others argue that schools and teachers play a more important role in the education of children. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Some individuals think that technology devices are more vitally important to a pupil's learning rather than lecturing. Others consider that educational institutions and tutors represent a significant position in the academic
sectors
. In my Fix the agreement mistake
sector
view
I strongly agree Add a comma
view,
with
schooling and educators are still paramount placement in Change preposition
that
this
era.
On the one hand, throughout the technological advance
there have been a number of study websites which already have learning schemes and Add a comma
advance,
structure
. So with access to these Fix the agreement mistake
structures
sites
students can effectively attend class and develop their knowledge everywhere. Add a comma
sites,
For example
, in the past people who lived in the countryside or the place had a scarcity of education. They do not have an opportunity to engage with luxurious academics but now they can via the website achieve their education goals. However
, by my consideration
I think teaching has to be passionate and inspiring rather than just go through with computers.
Add a comma
consideration,
On the other hand
, the human teaching method is more rational for mankind because people have to deal with people rather than machines due to
the vast proportion of their life
. And Fix the agreement mistake
lives
then
offline teaching can stimulate the students' passions and can establish their energetic mind
and good Fix the agreement mistake
minds
personality
. Fix the agreement mistake
personalities
For instance
, in the classroom pupils have to learn how to cooperate with classmates, not just studying
Wrong verb form
study
curriculum
. Correct article usage
the curriculum
Thus
, childrens
can obtain fabulous experiences of schooling Correct your spelling
children
instead
of learning alone in their room.
In conclusion, educators are still playing a prominent part of
the academic fields of the students. No matter how the machines are overrun and innovation , human teaching is more suitable for Change preposition
in
mankinds
.Correct your spelling
mankind
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Language Use
Try to enhance the variety and complexity of your sentences to make your essay more engaging and to convey your ideas more effectively.
Development and Support
Use more specific examples to support your arguments. This will make your essay more compelling and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
Organization
Work on paragraphing to clearly delineate your arguments and make them easier to follow. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea, supported by examples or further explanation.
Structure
You provided a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively outlining your essay's direction and summarizing your main points.
Argumentation
Your essay discusses both views on the importance of technology and traditional education methods in a balanced manner, providing a reasoned argument for your own opinion.
Examples
You utilized relevant examples to support your points, helping to illustrate your arguments more clearly.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.
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