some people think that museums should be enjoyable places to entertain people, while others believe that purpose of museums is the educate. discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #museums #places #purpose #educate

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this

modern

era

Add a comma

era,

show examples

a number of kinds of exhibitions are occurring and have become a trend. So some people think that

museums

should be meaningful sectors for family, couples and friends etc.

However

, other individuals think that the usage of

museums

is to provide for academic sectors. In my

opinion

Add a comma

opinion,

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I strongly agree that

museums

should be places which are more fun. On the one hand,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

people think that

museums

are full of knowledge and discovery to help people who want to study and are inspired by. For

students

Add a comma

students,

show examples

museums

are a holy place to take expertise and for

adults

Add a comma

adults,

show examples

they can use these resources to utilize their career.

For example

, pupils can go through museum exhibitions to expand their imagination and understand the ancient

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

myths.

Additionally

Add a comma

Additionally,

show examples

directors can take inspiration from the exhibitions to create a rational movie.

Thus

,in my point of view,

museums

are not only for academics

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but

also

can serve as enjoyable places.

On the other hand

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

individuals think that they now have various types of

museums

such

as aesthetic

museums

, gallery

museums

, painting

museums

, etc. In

this

new era, exhibition

centers

Change the spelling

centres

show examples

are becoming trendy.

Thus

, couples or groups of friends or families prefer to hang out in those kinds of places.

For example

,couples can enjoy their leisure time and

taking

Wrong verb form

take

show examples

pictures of

Add an article

the picture

a picture

show examples

picture

Change the form of the verb

pictures

show examples

to each

others

Change to a singular noun

other

show examples

. For families and

others

Add a comma

others,

show examples

they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

can prepare lunch and picnic in the museum’s garden to

favorably

Change the spelling

favourably

show examples

pass their fabulous day. It will make more sense for society.

Submitted by haixiuxiaonini on Mon Jan 15 2024

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structure

Ensure that your introduction clearly presents the topic and your thesis statement. Your conclusion should summarize the points discussed and reiterate your opinion. Both introduction and conclusion were lacking clarity and a strong thesis statement.

coherence

Work on creating a logical flow of ideas. This essay jumps between points without clear logical connections. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea that relates back to the overall thesis of the essay.

development

Develop your main points with specific examples and explanations. Many claims in this essay were made without supporting details, which makes the argument less convincing.

task response

For task achievement, provide a balanced discussion of both views and ensure that your own opinion is clear and well-supported. The response provided does not fully address the prompt, as the discussion leans heavily towards the view that museums should be fun, with limited exploration of the educational perspective.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

252 words

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some people think that museums should be enjoyable places to entertain people, while others believe that purpose of museums is the educate. discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Information technology enables many people to do their work outside their workplace. Do the benefit of this mobility out where the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In many countries, the increase in life expectancy means that people have to work until they are older to help pay for their retirement. An alternative is for people to start work at a younger age. Do you think this alternative would be a positive or negative development?

It is difficult for people in the cities to get enough physical exercise. What are the causes and solutions?

Computers and A.I. technology are increasingly being used for online education. Can Artificial intelligence enhance the learning experience? Is this a positive or negative development?