In some countries, secondary schools aim to provide a general educational across a range of subjects. In others, children focus on a narrowly range of subjects to related to a particular career. Which do you think is appropriate in today’s world?

#countries #schools #aim #range #subjects #children #focus #career #today’s #world

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Nowadays, national education systems offer various teaching programs and

subjects

. Some countries

applying

Wrong verb form

apply

show examples

many

subjects

for

student

Fix the agreement mistake

students

show examples

in secondary schools, but others prefer to provide

subjects

only for a specific job. In my opinion, whether large or small subject it depends on each nation's needs in today's world. Some believe that pupils in secondary schools

urging

Wrong verb form

urged

show examples

to gain many knowledges over numerous courses. Exploration in

school

is one of

good

Add an article

the good

show examples

ways to

finding

Wrong verb form

find

show examples

someone's passion.

Thus

graduate

Wrong verb form

graduating

show examples

from

school

, it

getting

Verb problem

apply

show examples

easy to gain

particular

Add an article

a particular

show examples

career.

For instance

, students in Indonesia from elementary

school

to high

school

must carry out

subjects

minimum

ten

Change preposition

of ten

show examples

modules. After

graduate

Wrong verb form

graduating

show examples

, they have

their

Change the word

the

show examples

opportunity to choose specific fields they focus on.

Furthermore

country

Add an article

the country

show examples

will facilitate the resident's need to know deeply within themselves by internship programs, field courses,

exchange

Correct word choice

and exchange

show examples

programs.

However

, a specific range of

subjects

in a particular career since middle schools aim to create

potentially

Change the word

potential

show examples

professionals in the future.

Therefore

, they will gain many experiences and build

relation

Replace the word

relationships

show examples

easily.

For example

, private

school

Fix the agreement mistake

schools

show examples

in Indonesia execute a pre-test for their child to know what potential within themselves. It brings specific modules during studies.

For

this

reason, no need reasons to

confuse

Wrong verb form

be confused

show examples

what

Change preposition

about what

show examples

career

that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

they

expected

Wrong verb form

expect

show examples

. An appropriate education system

relying

Wrong verb form

relies

show examples

country's

Correct article usage

the country's

show examples

urgency at present times. Some countries need to have more doctors,

they

Correct word choice

so they

show examples

will provide a specific program to folks. In my opinion, the most appropriate program is

pre-test

Correct article usage

a pre-test

show examples

before

school

Hence

student

Add an article

the student

a student

show examples

can define their passion

Change preposition

show examples

earliest

Add an article

the earliest

show examples

time.

Submitted by oktiviay17 on Mon Jan 15 2024

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Coherence and Cohesion

Ensure that the essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. The introduction and conclusion should be distinct and summarise your position and main arguments.

Coherence and Cohesion

Develop each of your paragraphs with a clear main idea, followed by supporting sentences that develop this idea further. Use a variety of linking words to connect your ideas and paragraphs together to improve the logical flow.

Task Achievement

Make sure to directly answer the question and present a clear position throughout your essay. Each paragraph should contain a clear main idea that directly relates to the task at hand.

Task Achievement

Provide a variety of specific examples and evidence to support your arguments. These should be relevant and illustrate the points you are making effectively.

Task Achievement

Mind the overall clarity and logical development of your ideas. While addressing both sides of the issue, make sure to return to your own position, clarifying its relevance to the question asked, and reinforcing your viewpoint in the conclusion to give a comprehensive response.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
27
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

250 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

dynamic job market
broad range of skills
well-rounded skill set
narrowly defined set
adaptability
technological advancements
shifting market demands
critical thinking
problem-solving skills
creativity
disciplinary exposure
specialized knowledge
deep expertise
competitive advantage
lifelong learning
direct pathway

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In some countries, secondary schools aim to provide a general educational across a range of subjects. In others, children focus on a narrowly range of subjects to related to a particular career. Which do you think is appropriate in today’s world?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Nowadays, many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organization. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self employed?

People living in the 21st century have a better life quality than people who lived in previous times. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

You have a problem with a recently hired employee in your workplace. Write a letter to the HR manager. In your letter: Describe the problem the new employee has caused Explain how other employees about the new employee’s conduct Say how you expect the HR manager to address the situation.