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Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Some people feel that global warming should be dealt with by governments. Others feel that it is responsibility of individuals in society to solve the problem. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #governments #responsibility #individuals #society
In
this
 modern age, we can not neglect the fact that global warming is one of the main issues that have to be taken seriously by mankind.
While
 most
people
 think that it is up to the government to solve, others believe that we are in dire need
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 humans to take part in
this
 problem.
This
 essay will discuss both points of
views
Fix the agreement mistake
view
show examples
, and why I genuinely agree that
us
Correct pronoun usage
we
show examples
 as an intellectual should
drive
Verb problem
pay
show examples
 more attention to it. First and foremost, the parliament needs to give the utmost support and become the bigger party in
this
 recurrence.
For instance
, there are
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
certain rules that can be promoted by them and educational programs which can be provided at the same time,
such
 as a digital zine or even printed precautions for
people
 to read.
This
 could be very useful for
people
 who have limited access and privilege to gain more knowledge about global warming.
On the other hand
, the goal of a country can not be reached without the primary support of its
people
. As an example, The new peers could help
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mother earth by
doing advocacy
Wrong verb form
advocating
show examples
 about
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
general matters. There are a lot of different media platforms that the younger generation loves to use as a part of their daily intake of literacy, and it is important for us to realise how greatly we can make use of it. In conclusion, communities around the world should be implementing the work programs that have been given to them by the government, and
this
 could be done even
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the simplest effort.
Hence
, our aim will not be successful if we refuse to handle it on our own too.
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introduction conclusion present
While the introduction and conclusion are present, they could be more clearly developed and provide a more concise thesis statement and summary of the main points. Aim to include a succinct thesis statement in the introduction that directly addresses the essay question. In the conclusion, summarize the main arguments discussed without introducing new information.
logical structure
The logical structure of the essay requires improvement. Your ideas should be organized in a clear and logical order. Consider using paragraphs to separate different ideas, and use cohesive devices such as conjunctions, topic sentences, and transitional phrases to guide the reader through your argument.
supported main points
Main points need to be more extensively supported by detailed examples and explanations. Ensure each point is developed thoroughly with evidence or examples to back up your assertions. Use specific examples or case studies where applicable, rather than general statements, to strengthen your argument.
complete response
A complete response to the task needs to be ensured by addressing all parts of the prompt fully. The essay should contain an explanation of both views as well as a clear personal stance on the issue. Provide an analysis of both perspectives and articulate your opinion with clear reasoning.
clear comprehensive ideas
To achieve clear and comprehensive ideas, ensure that each paragraph contains one main idea that is explored in depth. Avoid vague statements and ambiguity. Explicate your ideas with precision and make sure that they directly answer the question posed by the IELTS topic.
relevant specific examples
Include more relevant examples and details to support your points. Use real-world instances, facts, or statistics to enrich the content, making your arguments more persuasive and grounded in reality. Stay on topic and ensure the examples provided have a direct connection to the central argument of your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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