The rise of social media has affected personal relationships and society as a whole. Do the advantages of using social media for communication outweigh the disadvantages ?

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The development of social
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network
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networks
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has
change
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changed
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the
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apply
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individual relationships and
community
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communities
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. The author of
this
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essay
believe
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believes
show examples
that the benefits of sharing your
feeling
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feelings
show examples
or
thought
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thoughts
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and easily contacting outweigh the
drawback
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drawbacks
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of being scammed by bad
people
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. One of the most important must be mentioned is that you can share your
feeling
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feelings
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or your
opinion
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opinions
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quickly by using social
media
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.
This
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is
also
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the most useful function of social
media
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, you can write a blog or status and
this
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can be attached with videos or images to share anything you want, it just takes you a few seconds and your blog can be seen by many
people
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.
As a result
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, it will connect
people
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in the world and you will have more
chance
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chances
show examples
to meet and make new
friend
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friends
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when you use social
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network
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networks
show examples
. Take Instagram as
a
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an
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example where you can see other personal
page
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pages
show examples
and post your image
to
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so
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other
people
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can see it. Another advantage that social
media
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can bring
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apply
show examples
to
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apply
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us is that
people
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can use it
for contacting
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to contact
show examples
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apply
show examples
with
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apply
show examples
other
people
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. Many social
media
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provide us
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with service
show examples
service
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services
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that we can chat or call easily,
that
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which
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could be useful for
people
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in
family
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a family
the family
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or for your friends, they can connect with others. Facebook is one of
that
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those
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kind
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kinds
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of social
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network
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networks
show examples
it has Messenger for chatting and
call
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calling
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, it
also
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has video
call
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calls
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and all of those are free.
Beside
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Besides
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that, there is a drawback of bad
people
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can scam you.
In other words
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, there are a lot of
people
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who pretend to a nice
person
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people
show examples
and want to make
friend
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friends
show examples
with you, after a long time, when you
are
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apply
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trust
in
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apply
show examples
that person they can scam something like your money, credit card or
your
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apply
show examples
social
media
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account. I think that
people
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can have some skills to be more sensitive to
the
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apply
show examples
strange
people
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, we must know who can be a good friend.
Subsequently
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, you should not
be too trust
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be too trusted
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to
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with
show examples
someone
who
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whom
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you meet
in
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on
show examples
social
media
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To conclude
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, the rise of social
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network
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networks
show examples
bring the benefit of contacting and sharing with others
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easily
easly
Correct your spelling
easily
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
outweigh
Wrong verb form
outweighing
show examples
the
drawback
Fix the agreement mistake
drawbacks
show examples
of being scammed
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introduction conclusion present
Your essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion. Both should clearly state your thesis and summarize your main points. Ensure the introduction outlines what you will discuss, and the conclusion wraps up your arguments succinctly.
logical structure
The essay does not maintain a clear logical structure throughout. Work on creating clear paragraphs with topic sentences that introduce the main idea of each paragraph, followed by specific details and examples that support the topic sentence. Use a variety of linking words to ensure a smooth progression of ideas.
supported main points
While you have provided support for your main points, they need to be fleshed out with more specific examples and explanations. Try to provide detailed evidence or anecdotes to substantiate the advantages and disadvantages you've discussed. Avoid broad statements and strive for depth in your analysis.
complete response
You have addressed the task to a certain extent but need to provide a more complete response. Expand your ideas, presenting a balanced view of the advantages and disadvantages of social media, and relate them back to the influence on personal relationships and society.
clear comprehensive ideas
The clarity of your essay can be improved. Aim to communicate your ideas clearly and concisely, using a mix of complex and simple sentence structures effectively. Pay attention to grammar and punctuation for more comprehensiveness.
relevant specific examples
You have used examples, but they should be more relevant and specific to your argument. Focus on developing these examples to show a deeper understanding of the topic and to make a stronger impact on the reader. More detailed illustrations will also support your points more effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • global connectivity
  • networking opportunities
  • real-time information
  • community building
  • marketing opportunities
  • self-expression
  • educational content
  • privacy concerns
  • data security
  • misinformation
  • fake news
  • cyberbullying
  • interpersonal skills
  • distraction
  • productivity
What to do next:
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