The rise of social media has affected personal relationships and society as a whole. Do the advantages of using social media for communication outweigh the disadvantages ?
The development of social
network
has Fix the agreement mistake
networks
change
Change the verb form
changed
the
individual relationships and Correct article usage
apply
community
. The author of Fix the agreement mistake
communities
this
essay believe
that the benefits of sharing your Change the verb form
believes
feeling
or Fix the agreement mistake
feelings
thought
and easily contacting outweigh the Fix the agreement mistake
thoughts
drawback
of being scammed by bad Fix the agreement mistake
drawbacks
people
.
One of the most important must be mentioned is that you can share your feeling
or your Fix the agreement mistake
feelings
opinion
quickly by using social Fix the agreement mistake
opinions
media
. This
is also
the most useful function of social media
, you can write a blog or status and this
can be attached with videos or images to share anything you want, it just takes you a few seconds and your blog can be seen by many people
. As a result
, it will connect people
in the world and you will have more chance
to meet and make new Fix the agreement mistake
chances
friend
when you use social Fix the agreement mistake
friends
network
.
Take Instagram as Fix the agreement mistake
networks
a
example where you can see other personal Change the article
an
page
and post your image Fix the agreement mistake
pages
to
other Change preposition
so
people
can see it.
Another advantage that social media
can bring Change preposition
apply
to
us is that Change preposition
apply
people
can use it for contacting
Change preposition
to contact
Change preposition
apply
with
other Change preposition
apply
people
. Many social media
provide us Change preposition
with service
service
that we can chat or call easily, Fix the agreement mistake
services
that
could be useful for Correct pronoun usage
which
people
in family
or for your friends, they can connect with others. Facebook is one of Add an article
a family
the family
that
Correct determiner usage
those
kind
of social Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
network
it has Messenger for chatting and Fix the agreement mistake
networks
call
, it Wrong verb form
calling
also
has video call
and all of those are free.
Fix the agreement mistake
calls
Beside
that, there is a drawback of bad Replace the word
Besides
people
can scam you. In other words
, there are a lot of people
who pretend to a nice person
and want to make Fix the agreement mistake
people
friend
with you, after a long time, when you Fix the agreement mistake
friends
are
trust Unnecessary verb
apply
in
that person they can scam something like your money, credit card or Change preposition
apply
your
social Correct pronoun usage
apply
media
account. I think that people
can have some skills to be more sensitive to the
strange Correct article usage
apply
people
, we must know who can be a good friend. Subsequently
, you should not be too trust
Change the verb form
be too trusted
to
someone Change preposition
with
who
you meet Change the pronoun
whom
in
social Change preposition
on
media
To conclude
, the rise of social network
bring the benefit of contacting and sharing with others Fix the agreement mistake
networks
Correct your spelling
easily
easly
Correct your spelling
easily
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
outweigh
the Wrong verb form
outweighing
drawback
of being scammedFix the agreement mistake
drawbacks
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introduction conclusion present
Your essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion. Both should clearly state your thesis and summarize your main points. Ensure the introduction outlines what you will discuss, and the conclusion wraps up your arguments succinctly.
logical structure
The essay does not maintain a clear logical structure throughout. Work on creating clear paragraphs with topic sentences that introduce the main idea of each paragraph, followed by specific details and examples that support the topic sentence. Use a variety of linking words to ensure a smooth progression of ideas.
supported main points
While you have provided support for your main points, they need to be fleshed out with more specific examples and explanations. Try to provide detailed evidence or anecdotes to substantiate the advantages and disadvantages you've discussed. Avoid broad statements and strive for depth in your analysis.
complete response
You have addressed the task to a certain extent but need to provide a more complete response. Expand your ideas, presenting a balanced view of the advantages and disadvantages of social media, and relate them back to the influence on personal relationships and society.
clear comprehensive ideas
The clarity of your essay can be improved. Aim to communicate your ideas clearly and concisely, using a mix of complex and simple sentence structures effectively. Pay attention to grammar and punctuation for more comprehensiveness.
relevant specific examples
You have used examples, but they should be more relevant and specific to your argument. Focus on developing these examples to show a deeper understanding of the topic and to make a stronger impact on the reader. More detailed illustrations will also support your points more effectively.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.