The rise of social media has affected personal relationships and society as a whole.Do the advantages of using social media for communication outweigh the disadvantages?
There is an increase in
using
social Wrong verb form
the use of
media
which have
an impact on Correct subject-verb agreement
has
people
's relationship
and Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
publication
.Fix the agreement mistake
publications
Although
a group of people
cosider
Correct your spelling
consider
one
noticeable drawback is appearing on cyber criminals on
Change preposition
in
virtual
world ,the writer still Add an article
the virtual
a virtual
belive
two benefits: improving communication and boosting Correct your spelling
believe
conectivity
outweigh Correct your spelling
connectivity
that
Correct determiner usage
the
disadvantage
.
Fix the agreement mistake
disadvantages
One
of the two benefit
Change to a plural noun
benefits
is help
Change the verb form
is helping
people
improve their communication skills.In other words
, it has found that it is not the specific type of technology people
use but how they use it that can bring value to the partnership. One
example is a parent sharing a self-help app with a child to work through an argument. In discussing romantic relationships, sharing images via social media
can also
feel like an extra way to communicate. Using tools such
as WhatsApp, and texting through an argument, may also
help some people
communicate through writing. This
allows a person time and space to formulate the right words when face-to-face conversations prove difficult.
Another benefit is increasing connection,social media
has a positive impact on social connection if people
use it actively.
.To illustrate,family members and friends do not always live in the same city, or even the same state or country. Social media
platforms such
as Instagram and Facebook are quick and convenient ways for long-distance loved ones to stay in touch.People
can post updates about themselves and others in their lives, such
as spouses and children, as well as
share photos of vacations and other important family events. Additionally
, people
can tweak their privacy levels and share more personal information or pictures through individual or group messages.These and other social media
apps provide ways for people
to video chat in real-time
, Correct your spelling
real time
further
helping them feel more connected.
However
,one
advantage of social media
cannot
be ignored is Correct pronoun usage
that cannot
health
effect.Correct article usage
the health
People
spend
too much time Correct pronoun usage
who spend
for
online apps may have associations with mental health concerns Change preposition
on
such
as depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem .
In conclusion, the benefits users could reap from those sites are more significant than the downsides of social media
replacing face-to-face interaction .Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
The essay attempts to address the prompt, but the introduction and conclusion are not clearly stated. The writer should ensure that the essay begins with a clear introduction that paraphrases the question and ends with a clear conclusion that summarizes the main points and gives a final opinion.
coherence cohesion
There is an attempt at creating a logical structure; however, the transition between ideas could be smoother and more explicit. The main points need to be more effectively introduced and concluded to enhance the overall coherence of the essay.
task achievement
The essay includes examples, which is positive. To improve, ensure that the examples more explicitly support the main points and that they are clearly relevant to the arguments being made.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.