The rise of social media has affected personal relationships and society as a whole.Do the advantages of using social media for communication outweigh the disadvantages?

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There is an increase in
using
Wrong verb form
the use of
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social
media
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which
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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an impact on
people
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's
relationship
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relationships
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and
publication
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publications
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.
Although
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a group of
people
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cosider
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consider
one
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noticeable drawback is appearing on cyber criminals
on
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in
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virtual
Add an article
the virtual
a virtual
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world ,the writer still
belive
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believe
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two benefits: improving communication and boosting
conectivity
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connectivity
outweigh
that
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the
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disadvantage
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disadvantages
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.
One
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of the two
benefit
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benefits
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is help
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is helping
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people
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improve their communication skills.
In other words
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, it has found that it is not the specific type of technology
people
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use but how they use it that can bring value to the partnership.
One
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example is a parent sharing a self-help app with a child to work through an argument. In discussing romantic relationships, sharing images via social
media
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can
also
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feel like an extra way to communicate. Using tools
such
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as WhatsApp, and texting through an argument, may
also
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help some
people
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communicate through writing.
This
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allows a person time and space to formulate the right words when face-to-face conversations prove difficult. Another benefit is increasing connection,social
media
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has a positive impact on social connection if
people
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use it actively. .To illustrate,family members and friends do not always live in the same city, or even the same state or country. Social
media
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platforms
such
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as Instagram and Facebook are quick and convenient ways for long-distance loved ones to stay in touch.
People
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can post updates about themselves and others in their lives,
such
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as spouses and children,
as well as
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share photos of vacations and other important family events.
Additionally
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,
people
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can tweak their privacy levels and share more personal information or pictures through individual or group messages.These and other social
media
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apps provide ways for
people
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to video chat in
real-time
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real time
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,
further
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helping them feel more connected.
However
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,
one
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advantage of social
media
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cannot
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that cannot
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be ignored is
health
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the health
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effect.
People
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spend
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who spend
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too much time
for
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on
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online apps may have associations with mental health concerns
such
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as depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem . In conclusion, the benefits users could reap from those sites are more significant than the downsides of social
media
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replacing face-to-face interaction .
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task achievement
The essay attempts to address the prompt, but the introduction and conclusion are not clearly stated. The writer should ensure that the essay begins with a clear introduction that paraphrases the question and ends with a clear conclusion that summarizes the main points and gives a final opinion.
coherence cohesion
There is an attempt at creating a logical structure; however, the transition between ideas could be smoother and more explicit. The main points need to be more effectively introduced and concluded to enhance the overall coherence of the essay.
task achievement
The essay includes examples, which is positive. To improve, ensure that the examples more explicitly support the main points and that they are clearly relevant to the arguments being made.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • global connectivity
  • networking opportunities
  • real-time information
  • community building
  • marketing opportunities
  • self-expression
  • educational content
  • privacy concerns
  • data security
  • misinformation
  • fake news
  • cyberbullying
  • interpersonal skills
  • distraction
  • productivity
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