The rise of social media has affected personal relationships and society as a whole.Do the advantages of using social media for communication outweigh the disadvantages?

There is an increase in
using
Wrong verb form
the use of
show examples
social
media
which
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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an impact on
people
's
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
show examples
and
publication
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publications
show examples
.
Although
a group of
people
cosider
Correct your spelling
consider
one
noticeable drawback is appearing on cyber criminals
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
virtual
Add an article
the virtual
a virtual
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world ,the writer still
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
two benefits: improving communication and boosting
conectivity
Correct your spelling
connectivity
outweigh
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
disadvantage
Fix the agreement mistake
disadvantages
show examples
.
One
of the two
benefit
Change to a plural noun
benefits
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is help
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is helping
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people
improve their communication skills.
In other words
, it has found that it is not the specific type of technology
people
use but how they use it that can bring value to the partnership.
One
example is a parent sharing a self-help app with a child to work through an argument. In discussing romantic relationships, sharing images via social
media
can
also
feel like an extra way to communicate. Using tools
such
as WhatsApp, and texting through an argument, may
also
help some
people
communicate through writing.
This
allows a person time and space to formulate the right words when face-to-face conversations prove difficult. Another benefit is increasing connection,social
media
has a positive impact on social connection if
people
use it actively. .To illustrate,family members and friends do not always live in the same city, or even the same state or country. Social
media
platforms
such
as Instagram and Facebook are quick and convenient ways for long-distance loved ones to stay in touch.
People
can post updates about themselves and others in their lives,
such
as spouses and children,
as well as
share photos of vacations and other important family events.
Additionally
,
people
can tweak their privacy levels and share more personal information or pictures through individual or group messages.These and other social
media
apps provide ways for
people
to video chat in
real-time
Correct your spelling
real time
show examples
,
further
helping them feel more connected.
However
,
one
advantage of social
media
cannot
Correct pronoun usage
that cannot
show examples
be ignored is
health
Correct article usage
the health
show examples
effect.
People
spend
Correct pronoun usage
who spend
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too much time
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
online apps may have associations with mental health concerns
such
as depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem . In conclusion, the benefits users could reap from those sites are more significant than the downsides of social
media
replacing face-to-face interaction .
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task achievement
The essay attempts to address the prompt, but the introduction and conclusion are not clearly stated. The writer should ensure that the essay begins with a clear introduction that paraphrases the question and ends with a clear conclusion that summarizes the main points and gives a final opinion.
coherence cohesion
There is an attempt at creating a logical structure; however, the transition between ideas could be smoother and more explicit. The main points need to be more effectively introduced and concluded to enhance the overall coherence of the essay.
task achievement
The essay includes examples, which is positive. To improve, ensure that the examples more explicitly support the main points and that they are clearly relevant to the arguments being made.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • global connectivity
  • networking opportunities
  • real-time information
  • community building
  • marketing opportunities
  • self-expression
  • educational content
  • privacy concerns
  • data security
  • misinformation
  • fake news
  • cyberbullying
  • interpersonal skills
  • distraction
  • productivity
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