the rise of social media has affected personal relationships and society a whole. Do the advantages of using social media for communication outweigh the disadvantages ?
In today digital's age, the using of
internet
community increasing sharply and Correct article usage
the internet
alter
the acquaintance and the public. Wrong verb form
altering
While
it still make
people Change the verb form
makes
be attracted
when they use it more often, but online community can connect people from Verb problem
apply
over
the Rephrase
all over
word
and update the news Correct your spelling
world
everyday
.
On the positive side, social Replace the word
every day
media
platforms
facilitate seamless communication regardless of geographical distances. Individuals can connect with friends, family, and colleagues instantaneously, fostering a sense of closeness even when physically apart. Moreover
, these platforms
serve as powerful tools for information dissemination, enabling users to stay informed about global events, news, and diverse perspectives.
However
, the advantages of social media
come with a set of drawbacks that cannot be ignored. One of the primary concerns is the potential erosion of genuine face-to-face interactions. As people increasingly rely on virtual communication, the nuances of non-verbal cues and personal connections may diminish, impacting the quality of relationships. Additionally
, the rise of misinformation and fake news on social media
poses a significant threat to societal well-being, as it can lead to the spread of false beliefs and contribute to social polarization.
Another critical consideration is the impact of social media
on mental health. The constant exposure to curated images and lifestyles on these platforms
can create unrealistic expectations and a sense of inadequacy among users. The pressure to conform to societal standards perpetuated on social media
may contribute to anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem.
In conclusion, while
social media
undeniably offers unparalleled benefits for communication and information sharing, its disadvantages cannot be ignored. Striking a balance between the advantages and drawbacks is imperative to harness the positive potential of these platforms
without compromising the fabric of personal relationships and societal cohesion. As users, it is crucial to be discerning and responsible in our use of social media
to ensure a harmonious integration of these platforms
into our lives.Submitted by [email protected] on
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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear and cohesive structure, with the introduction and conclusion needing more clarity and directness in addressing the topic. Consider using a more defined thesis statement and summarizing the key arguments more precisely in the conclusion.
task achievement
To enhance task achievement, expand your coverage of both sides of the argument comprehensively. Although you have presented the basic advantages and disadvantages, the discussion lacks depth and specific examples. Moreover, address the question of whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages directly instead of stating a need for balance.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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