Some people believe that the main reasons of learning a foreign language are travel and work, others said that there are many different reasons Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #language #travel #work

A common contention

stated

Wrong verb form

states

show examples

that learning a foreign language is

main

Replace the word

mainly

show examples

caused by travel and work,

whereas

opponents contradict that view and believe there are various other

reasons

that contributed to

such

decision

Correct article usage

a decision

show examples

Beside

Replace the word

Besides

show examples

those mentioned

reasons

, I personally agree

Change preposition

with

show examples

the latter statement considering the fact that digital communication

are

Change the verb form

show examples

also

why people determined to do so.

To begin

with, conquering non-native languages

are

Change the verb form

show examples

beneficial for workers and travellers because they often aim to go abroad.

For instance

, plenty of Asian multinational companies obligate their employees to take an IELTS test, the commonly utilized measurement of one's English skill, for the sake of clear communication to anticipate their visit to other countries.

Furthermore

, tourists

also

need that kind of communication to fully enjoy their trip. These are why many believe that the first statement is true.

Nevertheless

, those are not the only backgrounds of

this

phenomenon.

Beside

Replace the word

Besides

show examples

tours and

labours

Fix the agreement mistake

labour

show examples

, multilingual individuals are often motivated by cyberspace conversations.

For example

, online video games connect geographically diverse citizens

that

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

makes

this

skill

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

in favour

for

Change preposition

show examples

gamers.

This

can minimize the possibility of players' miscommunication

while

enhancing the bond between them.

To sum up

, the need to travel and professional matters are not the mere

backgrounds

Fix the agreement mistake

background

show examples

to learn a foreign language.

Although

it is essential for those

reasons

, cyber conversations are

also

valid

reasons

for learners.

Submitted by jelitasofiaz on Mon Jan 15 2024

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task achievement

While your essay presents an introductory statement that attempts to address the topic, it lacks a clear thesis statement that explicitly states your opinion on the matter. Additionally, the main ideas are not entirely developed. A well-crafted essay should have a clear position that is consistently maintained throughout, with each paragraph exploring a different main point and how it supports the writer's view.

coherence cohesion

Your essay demonstrates basic logical structuring with introductory and concluding paragraphs. However, the progression of ideas within paragraphs could be improved. To enhance coherence, consider using a wider range of cohesive devices and paragraphing more effectively to delineate your points clearly. Ensure that every paragraph has a clear central idea which is expanded with explanations or examples.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

226 words

<40

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that the main reasons of learning a foreign language are travel and work, others said that there are many different reasons Discuss both views and give your opinion

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

The diagrom shows the process by which sheep embryos are cloned. Summarise the infomation by selecting and reporting the main features.

In many countries, the number of animals and plants is declining. Why do you think this is happening? How can this issue be solved.

Youth crime is increasing rapidly in many countries. Why it is increasing? and what solution can be taken to resolve the problem.

Learning English at school is often seen as more important than learning local languages. If these are not taught, many are at risk of dying out. In your opinion, is it important for everyone to learn English? Should we try to ensure the survival of local languages and, if so, how?

Some people believe that technology has made the lives of workers easier whilst other people disagree. To what extent do you agree or disagree?