Studies have shown that many young children worry about their appearance. What are the reasons for this? What might best be done to reduce the problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

#studies #children #appearance

According to

various studies, minors are heavily worried about their

appearance

Correct word choice

physical appearance

show examples

physically

Rephrase

apply

show examples

. In my opinion,

this

has a very negative impact on the child's mental and physical health. I believe there are many reasons for

this

study to be true. In the following paragraph, I will share my opinions on

this

cause.

Firstly

, In my opinion, social media platforms like Instagram or TikTok are one of the biggest culprits for the increase in insecurities among children.

For instance

, many influencers post their physical features publicly on social media, which is shared across the globe.

This

leads kids as

small

Correct word choice

young

show examples

as 9-year-olds to start doubting their bodies.

In addition

, standards for these physical or facial features have been set up high by celebrities who receive plastic surgeries to enhance themselves and portray a fake image on platforms like Instagram.

Furthermore

, bullying at schools is one of the major factors of worries about appearances in teens.

For example

, students in most classrooms body shame their friends just as a joke.

However

this

joke could be taken into account by an individual who is bullied and causes serious mental health issues. Body shaming occurs

due to

so-called "beauty standards" set on the internet which

therefore

illustrates the connection between the introduction of

such

bars that are set

due to

social media. Reduction of

this

issue can be tough as teenagers are constantly exposed to the internet and

hence

these standards.

However

, spreading awareness about the topic of

body-shaming

Correct your spelling

body shaming

show examples

or insecurities in educational institutions could be a positive start.

Moreover

, having a one-on-one conversation with kids

that

Correct pronoun usage

who

show examples

struggle a lot with body image could help treat

this

cause even more. In conclusion, as long as people aren't educated about

this

, it will get no better. Understanding children all around the world, and their opinions about their looks is the first step in treating

this

issue.

Submitted by routmanmayee on Mon Jan 15 2024

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coherence cohesion

To improve your essay's coherence and cohesion, focus on creating a more logically structured argument. This can be achieved by organizing your essay into clear paragraphs with each one centering around a single main idea. Use a variety of linking expressions to seamlessly connect ideas within and between paragraphs, and ensure there is a natural flow from one point to the next.

task achievement

Regarding task achievement, ensure that you fully address all parts of the task. This includes clearly outlining the reasons for the problem and discussing potential solutions. While you did touch upon these parts, providing a more developed explanation with a range of ideas and pertinent examples would enhance the quality of your response. Ensure that your conclusion summarises the main ideas and reflects upon the solutions you propose.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

311 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

unrealistic standards
peer pressure
social media influence
celebrity culture
narrow definition
body positivity
self-esteem
image manipulation
beauty products
media literacy
body image concerns
diverse qualities
appearance-focused
self-acceptance
aesthetic appeal
inclusive beauty
self-worth
cultural norms
marketing strategies
psychological impact

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Studies have shown that many young children worry about their appearance. What are the reasons for this? What might best be done to reduce the problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

The importance of biodiversity is being recognized as in creasing number of species. Why is special loss occurring? What are the potential effects of this?

In some countries, the number of shooting massacres is on the rise because many people have guns at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

in some countries, the cost livig rapidly increasing. what do you think may be the reasons for this? what effects might this have on society?

Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and this money could be better spent eleswhere. To what extent do you agree or disagree?