Studies have shown that many young children worry about their appearance. What are the reasons for this? What might best be done to reduce the problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

#studies #children #appearance

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According to

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various studies, minors are heavily worried about their

appearance

Correct word choice

physical appearance

show examples

physically

Rephrase

apply

show examples

. In my opinion,

this

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has a very negative impact on the child's mental and physical health. I believe there are many reasons for

this

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study to be true. In the following paragraph, I will share my opinions on

this

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cause.

Firstly

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, In my opinion, social media platforms like Instagram or TikTok are one of the biggest culprits for the increase in insecurities among children.

For instance

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, many influencers post their physical features publicly on social media, which is shared across the globe.

This

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leads kids as

small

Correct word choice

young

show examples

as 9-year-olds to start doubting their bodies.

In addition

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, standards for these physical or facial features have been set up high by celebrities who receive plastic surgeries to enhance themselves and portray a fake image on platforms like Instagram.

Furthermore

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, bullying at schools is one of the major factors of worries about appearances in teens.

For example

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, students in most classrooms body shame their friends just as a joke.

However

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this

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joke could be taken into account by an individual who is bullied and causes serious mental health issues. Body shaming occurs

due to

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so-called "beauty standards" set on the internet which

therefore

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illustrates the connection between the introduction of

such

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bars that are set

due to

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social media. Reduction of

this

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issue can be tough as teenagers are constantly exposed to the internet and

hence

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these standards.

However

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, spreading awareness about the topic of

body-shaming

Correct your spelling

body shaming

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or insecurities in educational institutions could be a positive start.

Moreover

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, having a one-on-one conversation with kids

that

Correct pronoun usage

who

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struggle a lot with body image could help treat

this

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cause even more. In conclusion, as long as people aren't educated about

this

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, it will get no better. Understanding children all around the world, and their opinions about their looks is the first step in treating

this

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issue.

Submitted by routmanmayee on Mon Jan 15 2024

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coherence cohesion

To improve your essay's coherence and cohesion, focus on creating a more logically structured argument. This can be achieved by organizing your essay into clear paragraphs with each one centering around a single main idea. Use a variety of linking expressions to seamlessly connect ideas within and between paragraphs, and ensure there is a natural flow from one point to the next.

task achievement

Regarding task achievement, ensure that you fully address all parts of the task. This includes clearly outlining the reasons for the problem and discussing potential solutions. While you did touch upon these parts, providing a more developed explanation with a range of ideas and pertinent examples would enhance the quality of your response. Ensure that your conclusion summarises the main ideas and reflects upon the solutions you propose.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

311 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

unrealistic standards
peer pressure
social media influence
celebrity culture
narrow definition
body positivity
self-esteem
image manipulation
beauty products
media literacy
body image concerns
diverse qualities
appearance-focused
self-acceptance
aesthetic appeal
inclusive beauty
self-worth
cultural norms
marketing strategies
psychological impact

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Studies have shown that many young children worry about their appearance. What are the reasons for this? What might best be done to reduce the problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Today more and more people wants thing instantly (eg : goods, service, news). Why is this ? Is it positive or negative development ?

There seems to be an increasing number of serious crimes committed each year. While some think the best way is to use death penalty as a deterrent, many believe that other measures will be needed. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Over consuming sugar is unhealthy. Some people think that governments should take responsibility to control it. Others think that individuals should take responsibility for​ sugar intake. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

success is something which most people try to achieve. What can success mean to different people? What's your view of success?

You have recently used the services of a moving company. At the new place you found out that some of your items were badly damaged. Write a letter to the company manager including the following: Give details of your move List items that were damaged Say what you expect the manager to do

Over consuming sugar is unhealthy. Some people think that governments should take responsibility to control it. Others think that individuals should take responsibility for sugar intake. Discuss both views and give your opinion.