Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
While
a number of people are inclined to believe commercials are incredibly important for convince
us to buy things, others disagree with it Wrong verb form
convincing
due to
they believe those are so common that cannot attract us anymore. I must say, I strongly disagree the
idea that people are not interested in advertisements anymore. It has an important role Change preposition
with the
while
humans are deciding what to buy.
First of all, from my point of view, people only believe what they see and they would like to be convinced before Correct word choice
when
own
something. They love the feeling Change the verb form
owning
being
satisfied after a good investment or Change preposition
of being
buy
anything. Wrong verb form
buying
Which
is why, commercials have a significant impact on us in order to make us Correct pronoun usage
This
satisfy
Wrong verb form
satisfied
from
our shopping Change preposition
with
cause
most of the time, we influence products' videos and Correct word choice
because
this
pushes us to have one
. For instance
, once, I saw a hairdryer video and wanted to get one
although
I do
not Wrong verb form
did
need
.
Correct pronoun usage
need one
Furthermore
, sometimes, we are not able to choose one
product because we cannot decide between brands and in this
situations
, advertisements help us to decide. Eventually, we watch all the products' videos and choose Fix the agreement mistake
situation
one
of them. It is probably the one
which best
advertised, not the Add a missing verb
is best
one
with best
quality. Change the article
the best
In addition
, commercials make companies prominent. For instance
, my brother is a
Correct article usage
apply
such
a capitalist that he always wants to buy anything well-known without looking their
features. Change preposition
at their
Thus
we can see it definitely works while
persuading us.
To sum up
, what I mean is
I completely believe advertisements are successful at persuading and making famous products Unnecessary verb
apply
thus
they can attract more and more customers.Submitted by fatmanurdonertas on
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task achievement
Your essay partially addresses the task with a clear position, but it lacks a fully developed argument. The introduction and conclusion are not well-defined and could be improved to better state the purpose of the essay and summarize your arguments.
coherence cohesion
The essay shows a basic organizational structure, but it has issues with paragraphing and logical sequencing of ideas that make it harder to follow. Use clear topic sentences at the start of each paragraph to lead the reader through your arguments. In addition, transitions between points could be smoother.