Many doctors are concerned about the high use of computer games by children and young people. What mental and physical problems may arise from excessive use of these games? How could these problems be reduced?
In contemporary society, a few caregivers are of the opinion that the excessive amount of adolescents and offspring consuming
computer
games
is relatively gigantic which triggers certain detrimental effects on their mental and physical health. Regarding the measures that can mitigate this
malicious trend, it is believed that there are a few certain solutions that could be implemented. This
essay will discuss the conundrums that kids and young individuals might suffer from computer
games
as well as
introduce some measures to address this
issue.
First and foremost, video games
or computer
games
in general will disconnect adolescents and kids from their surroundings which includes family, friends and even themselves. What I mean by this
is that games
oftentimes produce an artificial and unreal world, where everything will be perfect. This
might shape these novices's minds to an ideal life. So when they get back to reality, these young individuals have the tendency to be disappointed as things do not go the way they want. For instance
, offspring love immersing themselves in an unreal world where they can build their own dream and empire
, Fix the agreement mistake
empires
also
they can do whatever they want. As a result
, when they return to reality, they are under the control of family and schooling disciplines which might frustrate them at times. To address this
problem, it is prudent to introduce offsprings some outdoor activities proactively such
as outdoor teamwork activities or some debate and discussion. This
might assist offspring in self-growth as well as
their cognitive ability. To do so, not only it
require their family to give thoughtful care but Add a missing verb
does it
also
stands in need of the cooperation of teachers at school.
Moreover
, it is crucial to ensure that offspring maintain a healthy lifestyle and wholesome habits. That said adolescents and children are susceptible to severe illnesses such
as eye-related sicknesses, headaches
. Correct word choice
and headaches
As they
spend an excessive amount of time keeping their eyes on the screens which triggers tiredness. Not only does it affect their vision but Correct word choice
They
also
decreases their brain's function such
as remembering things. For example
, after a few hours sitting in front of screens
young people might face headaches, dizziness and a sense of tiredness when they stand up. Add a comma
screens,
Consequently
, this
appears as an alert from their physical health and it needs altering by themselves in order to not wear out weakly. To approach this
common issue, psychologists from some universities suggested that parents can encourage their kids to have a
part-time Correct article usage
apply
job
or send them to vocational training. It is believed that to encounter a position in a workplace, young people might alleviate the useless time spent on computers Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
as well as
they can obtain a few helpful social skills.
In conclusion, everything can be recapitulated into the fact that computer
games
cause a decline in young individuals's mental and physical health. Enhancing their life quality, of it requires changes from
themselves, Change preposition
in
as well as
care from their beloved supporters.Submitted by thinhatvypham127 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
introduction conclusion present
Your essay demonstrates a poor understanding of the requirements of an appropriate format. The introduction lacked a clear thesis statement, and the conclusion did not effectively summarize the main points. Make sure your introduction presents a clear argument and your conclusion ties the essay together cohesively.
supported main points
The essay lacks coherence in developing ideas. The main points were not effectively supported by specific examples or arguments. To improve, each paragraph should contain a clear main idea, followed by explanations, supporting details, and examples to substantiate your arguments.
logical structure
The logical structure of the essay was weak, with arguments appearing disjointed and lacking clear transition between them. To enhance the logical flow, use transitional words and phrases to connect ideas, and structure your essay with clear, logical progression from one idea to the next.
complete response
The essay only minimally addressed the task, providing a very basic response without fully developing the ideas or exploring the implications. Aim to provide a more detailed analysis of the issue, including a variety of viewpoints and more nuanced discussion.
clear comprehensive ideas
The ideas presented in the essay were unclear and not comprehensive. There needs to be a stronger development of ideas, with clearer explanation and elaboration on each point. Use examples to illustrate your points and explain your reasoning more thoroughly.
relevant specific examples
The essay did not include enough relevant and specific examples to illustrate the points made. To strengthen your essay, include real-life examples, research findings, or hypothetical scenarios that are directly relevant to the topic and the arguments you are making.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic
Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.
You essay structure should look something like this:
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – Problems
- Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- One of the first problems of the...
- Another problem that needs to be considered...
- A possible solution to this problem would be...
- One immediate practical solution is to...
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!