Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #money #poverty #aid

Nowadays, many developed

countries

give financial

aid

as a helping hand to poor

countries

However

, there is ongoing debate about whether developed

countries

need to provide

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

financial assistance to poor

countries

or anything else. Even though financial

aid

is essential to poor

countries

, I believe other types of help will significantly advance the impoverished country.

First,

giving only financial

aid

is not the best solution to help poor

countries

escape from poverty. There is a terrible effect,

such

as making poor

countries

independent. They will always depend on developed

countries

as long as they get money.

Moreover

, the government and society will become lazy, making the nation underdeveloped.

For instance

people

will not think about innovation because they always get money for free, and the country will stay in poverty.

On the other hand

, it will be better to give poor

countries

some skills to enhance their income. Developed

countries

can try collaborating with poor

countries

, especially in the economy and education sector.

For example

, developed

countries

can send

skillful

Change the spelling

skilful

show examples

people

to teach

people

in poor

countries

Moreover

people

from poor

countries

need to be sent to developed

countries

to get some education so they can have a positive impact when they return to their country. Based on the two reasons above, I agree that impoverished

countries

need other types of help

instead

of financial

aid

. Enhancing the skill through collaboration between developed and poor

countries

can help poor

countries

to improve their income and development.

This

way can significantly help poor

countries

become independent and escape from poverty.

Submitted by kucinglab on Tue Jan 16 2024

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coherence cohesion

You should ensure that each paragraph has a clear central theme that is developed logically and thoroughly. Your essay displayed some level of logical structuring but lacked smooth transitions and a variety of cohesive devices to guide the reader through the argument.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion were present, but could be strengthened. A clear thesis statement in the introduction and a more definitive summarization of the argument in the conclusion would enhance the overall effectiveness of the essay.

coherence cohesion

You have made an effort to support your main points, yet the support provided is somewhat superficial and in need of more detailed examples and explanations. More specific and varied evidence and illustrations would improve your score.

task achievement

Your essay addresses the topic, but the response could be more fully developed. Ensure that all parts of the task are answered and that your ideas are extended and supported with relevant examples.

task achievement

While your ideas are generally clear, they would benefit from being expressed more comprehensively. Aim to fully explain and elaborate on each point to convey a deeper understanding of the topic.

task achievement

The essay has a scarcity of relevant and specific examples to support the ideas presented. Including a range of detailed examples enhances the argument and demonstrates a clear understanding of the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

260 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

poverty alleviation
economic inequality
developing nations
foreign aid
sustainable growth
technical assistance
expertise
infrastructure
education
fair trade
trade barriers
sustainable development
environmental conservation

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Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people believe that technological advancements have made traditional skills and methods obsolete, while others argue that these skills are still valuable. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

More and more people are working from home rather than at the workplaces. Some people say this will bring benefits to the workers and their families, but others think it will bring stress to the home. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays in many countries chemicals are used to preserve food. Do the advantages of this use outweigh the disadvantages ?

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

"prevention is better than cure". Research and treating is too costly. so it would be better to invest in preventive measure. To what extend do you agree.