Nowadays people use social media to keep in touch with others and be aware of the news. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays
people
are connected worldwide which could have never been achieved without social
media
. Some
people
claim that the advantages outweigh the
disadvantages
. I completely agree and believe the statement
however
Add the comma(s)
, however
show examples
; the
disadvantages
cannot be ignored.
Advantages
Correct article usage
The advantages
show examples
of social
media
are abundantly true in our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. Social
media
has made communication easier than ever,
therefore
we can get worldwide news instantly. We used to wait for months to get
letter
Add an article
a letter
show examples
from our loved ones,
nevertheless
these days we can send
message
Add an article
a message
the message
show examples
within a second just with a click
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
button. Making friends was never
that
Correct word choice
as
show examples
easy
that
Correct word choice
as
show examples
it has become today. We can share our different aspects of
lives
Fix the agreement mistake
life
show examples
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
our friends through social
media
by sharing our photos and videos. It gives us the feeling of togetherness and keeps us updated about our loved ones. On
contrary
Correct article usage
the contrary
show examples
, the
disadvantages
are not ignorable. Social
media
use has been so
wide
Replace the word
widespread
show examples
that
people
forgets
Change the verb form
forget
show examples
to give importance to their real life. Teenagers are getting addicted to social
media
which is
falling
Verb problem
affecting
show examples
their school grades.
People
try to be more social
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social
media
but
forgets
Change the verb form
forget
show examples
about chatting with family members.
People
sometimes get their privacy breached by hackers
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
causes them to suffer a lot
with
Change preposition
of
show examples
embarrassment. Nowadays news
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
social
media
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
filled with crimes and violence, which has
negative
Add an article
a negative
show examples
impact on
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
personal and social lives. In conclusion, we cannot deny the blessings bestowed upon us
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
the welfare of social
media
. On
contrary
Correct article usage
the contrary
show examples
, the
disadvantages
are alarming too
although
that can be minimised with some
cautions
Fix the agreement mistake
caution
show examples
. The best way to minimise the
disadvantages
of social
media
can be by using it
according to
the direction of social
media
specialists.
Submitted by Dr.ashik776 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure that the introduction clearly presents the topic and your standpoint on it. The conclusion should also effectively summarize your arguments and restate your position.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices and topic-specific vocabulary to enhance logical flow and clarity.
task achievement
Provide more specific, detailed examples to support your points and illustrate the advantages and disadvantages of social media use.
coherence cohesion
Organize ideas into clear, distinct paragraphs with topic sentences, and ensure they are all directly related to the central topic of each paragraph.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Instant communication
  • Geographical separation
  • Vital sources
  • Global events
  • Networking opportunities
  • Interpersonal relationships
  • Digital interactions
  • Misinformation
  • Misiformed public opinions
  • Endanger
  • Excessive use
  • Addiction
  • Mental health
  • Anxiety
  • Depression
  • Loneliness
What to do next:
Look at other essays: