Nowadays technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing (for example, through cellphone tracking and security cameras). In many cases, the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?
These days, the development of technology is being used to check someone's activities and what they are going to say. Sometimes, they do not even realise if
this
is happening. Linking Words
Although
there is a drawback to doing Linking Words
this
, I believe that a benefit is still on top.
On the one hand, one of the advantages of tracking Linking Words
people
is Use synonyms
for
increasing security in order to keep Change preposition
apply
people
safe. Use synonyms
This
action can be used to remind them on the roads to wear helmets and not to do anything weird. Linking Words
For example
, in Bandung, there is a monitor for checking bikers if they wear safety equipment or not. The checker will notice them and use a microphone so they will get reminded. Linking Words
As a result
, recent news shown that there is a decreasing rate for Linking Words
people
who usually do not wear it.
Use synonyms
On the other hand
, there is a negative impact Linking Words
such
as less confidence. If technology is used to notice someone on the roads where many Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
gathering
in Wrong verb form
gather
this
place, it will make them feel uncomfortable and their confidence will decrease. Linking Words
Furthermore
, their behaviours would lead them to not be brave. Linking Words
For instance
, on social media, there was someone who shared the effects of that action. He said that he got bullied, and could not go to work. Linking Words
As a result
, monitoring somebody is not always an excellent way.
In conclusion, a positive impact of using security cameras is Linking Words
for
looking at Change preposition
apply
people
to ensure they are safe, and the drawback is related to Use synonyms
people
's confidence. Personally, I think an advantage of technology outweighs the disadvantages.Use synonyms
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task achievement
The essay lacks a strong introduction and conclusion that clearly address the topic. You should explicitly outline your position on the advantages and disadvantages of technology's role in monitoring in both the introduction and conclusion for greater task achievement.
task achievement
Your main points should be more developed with supporting details and examples throughout the essay. Aim to provide fuller explanations and more elaborated examples that directly relate to how the advantages may outweigh the disadvantages.
coherence cohesion
Organize your essay with a clear and logical structure, including distinct paragraphs for the introduction, each main point, and the conclusion. Use cohesive devices to connect ideas and paragraphs more effectively to enhance the reader's understanding of your argument.