IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In the past, when students did a university degree, they tended to study in their own country. Nowadays, they have more opportunities to study abroad. What are the advantages or disadvantages of this development? You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant ideas.

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Several years ago, most
students
Use synonyms
 studied in a local college in their own countries, but these days,
study
Wrong verb form
studying
show examples
 abroad is easier to be
accesed
Correct your spelling
accessed
. From
this
Linking Words
 opportunity, there are several advantages and disadvantages that would be faced by them. The primary benefit
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 being international
Use synonyms
students
Fix the agreement mistake
student
show examples
 in other
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
leads
Verb problem
is
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
to become more independent. They will decide something based on their thoughts without involving their parent's ideas.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, there is an opportunity to work as a part-time worker which is an excellent way to find new experiences.
For instance
Linking Words
, in Taiwan, it is easier to seek a job for
students
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as waitress or cook helper. Because of
this
Linking Words
, many of them can pay their own tuition fee and they can fill new career positions into their CV.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the drawbacks are inevitable because most of the overseas
students
Use synonyms
 will encounter different cultures and food that make them hardly adapt. Some of the countries generally do not add much favours or seasonings into their food which
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 not good for
students
Use synonyms
 who come from South East Asian regionals.
Besides
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, the
existing
Replace the word
existence
show examples
 of different
habis
Correct your spelling
habits
habit
 will make them harder to like the place.
For example
Linking Words
, many pupils from language school in China decided to travel back to their homes because the lunch and dinner were not familiar
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 their tastes. In conclusion,
this
Linking Words
 development leads
an
Change preposition
to an
show examples
 advantage
such
Linking Words
 as having a good opportunity to seek a new experience in a new place.
However
Linking Words
, there is
also
Linking Words
 a disadvantage particularly facing multicultural and different types of food.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear and logical structure throughout, with distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Your introduction should set the stage for the discussion, and your conclusion should summarily address the advantages and disadvantages discussed.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words and phrases to improve the flow and cohesion of your essay. This will help to guide the reader through your argument and make your main points clearer.
task achievement
Although you provided some examples, aim to include more specific and detailed examples to support your arguments. Doing this makes your points more convincing and your essay more informative.
task achievement
Fully address the prompt by ensuring you discuss both advantages and disadvantages equally. Make sure both sides are balanced and you elaborate on each point sufficiently.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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