Using a computer every day can have more negative than positive effects on people. Do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
As the world of personal
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers

It seems that computer may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
evolved from a bulky titan-sized expensive machine to a portable and compactly shaped
set up
Correct your spelling
set-up

The word set up seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

show examples
, PCs have been getting more and more common to find inside any family
houses
Fix the agreement mistake
house

It seems that houses may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
. The growth of the internet
accelerate
Change the verb form
accelerates

The plural verb accelerate does not appear to agree with the singular subject growth. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

show examples
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

evolution even
further
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, as
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

are able to connect to
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

all around the world, entertain themself and their family, and
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

do
works
Wrong verb form
work

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb works. Consider changing it.

show examples
more efficiently in
home
Add an article
a home
the home

The noun phrase home environment seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
environment.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, there is always a drawback
in
Change preposition
to

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
every good
things
Change to a singular noun
thing

The singular quantifier every is followed by the plural noun things. Consider changing the noun to the singular or using a different quantifier.

show examples
, and for the extensive usage of personal
Use synonyms
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers

It seems that computer may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
, that drawback could be in the shape of increasing reports of eye
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems

It seems that problem may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
,
teenagers
Change noun form
teenagers'
teenager's

It seems that this noun form may be incorrect.

show examples
mental
issue
Fix the agreement mistake
issues

It seems that issue may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
, a student distracted from pursuing better education chances, and many more.
Hence
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

why I agree that using
Use synonyms
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers

It seems that computer may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
every single day, despite the many benefits that they give, is unfortunately bad and should not be practised by anyone. The main appeal of using a
computer
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, especially those that are connected to the internet, is the ability to be connected to
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

from around the globe and share your experience with them. I am, of course, talking about social media, as it is how most
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

allocate a good portion of their time to
do
Unnecessary verb
apply

The verb do appears to be unnecessary here.

show examples
on a
computer
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. We are social beings, so it is not a surprise that we would want to be able to talk to
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, share our stories, listen to theirs, have fun together, and activities alike. But, doing so on the internet, especially
everyday
Replace the word
every day

The word everyday may be used incorrectly. Review the following notes to determine the appropriate usage for your context.

show examples
, is not the way you are supposed to socialize. Aside from the obvious health risk of eye strain, reduced effectivity of sleep, poor time management, and other real-life impacts, constantly being in front of your monitor screen would
decentivize
Correct your spelling
incentivize

If you don’t want decentivize to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

your actual, physical body from being social.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

illusion of actually meeting
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

has been proved to be one of the most dangerous
aspect
Change to a plural noun
aspects

The singular countable noun aspect follows the quantifier one of, which requires a plural noun. Consider using a plural noun or a different quantifier.

show examples
of the digital world, as
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

would feel lonely instantly the moment they log off of the platform and would crave
for
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
more unrealistic interactions, which is another way of saying addiction. Being addicted to anything is never a good thing, and by being addicted to social media, you are putting your real life on the line as you go
spiraling
Change the spelling
spiralling

The spelling of spiraling is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

show examples
deeper
to
Change preposition
into

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
the neverending cycle of fake stimuli from social media. In conclusion, using
Use synonyms
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

computer
Add an article
a computer

The noun phrase computer seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
everyday
Replace the word
every day

The word everyday may be used incorrectly. Review the following notes to determine the appropriate usage for your context.

show examples
is horrible as it
pose
Change the verb form
poses

It appears that the subject pronoun it and the verb pose are not in agreement. Consider changing the verb.

show examples
numerous health and mental diseases. If you want to get the most out of
Use synonyms
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

computer
Add an article
the computer
a computer

The noun phrase computer seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
, it is better to be in it for a bit, and
then
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

go outside and actually socialize with your local community, it is better and healthier for you.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
While your essay presents a basic structure with an introduction and conclusion, the development of ideas doesn't have a clear progression. The transition between ideas can be improved with better use of cohesive devices and clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph.
task achievement
You partially addressed the task by discussing the negative impacts of daily computer use. To improve the completeness of your response, consider exploring both sides of the argument, as the prompt suggests a discussion of negative and positive effects. Additionally, your conclusion could be strengthened with a clear summary of the arguments presented.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Ergonomics
  • Cognitive overload
  • Digital literacy
  • Cybersecurity
  • Innovative solutions
  • Remote work
  • Digital divide
  • Technological dependence
  • Moderation
What to do next:
Look at other essays: