IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Young people's use of computers and mobile phones to communicate has a negative impact on their reading and writing skills. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#people #computers #phones #impact #skills
Some people argue that technological innovations like mobile phones and
computers
 have affected the reading and writing
skills
 of young people. I disagree with
this
 claim because
in
Add the comma(s)
, in
show examples
 my opinion, technology has actually improved their reading or writing
skills
. In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
recent years, major advancements in technology
were
Wrong verb form
have been
show examples
 made.
Therefore
, communication is easier using mobile phones and
computers
.
However
,
this
 is not the only benefit of using them. It is now easier to access a lot of resources with just a click. As for reading
skills
, teenagers and adolescents are positively encouraged to use their
computers
 and laptops in school. It has been found that using
computers
 in the classroom allows them to pay more attention to their lessons.
In addition
, they can simply download many applications onto their mobiles and
computers
 which allow them to read as many books as they can. In the past, a trip to the library was necessary to borrow a book and you were allowed to borrow only one or two books at one time.
That is
 no longer the case. Today there are several reading apps that allow people to read whatever they want online. A good example of
this
 is the website /application Goodreads. With the press of a button, you can move from fiction to romance. Regarding the improvement in the writing
skills
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
youngsters, it is now well established all over the world that they will need to have some
computer
skills
. If they want to give a presentation during their university courses,
then
 they would need a
computer
 to give a wonderful presentation.
Also
, the
auto correct
Add a hyphen
auto-correct
show examples
 feature is available in many
computer
programmes
Replace the word
programs
show examples
 like Microsoft Word. Dictionaries can be easily downloaded onto a
computer
 or even
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 mobile phone,
thus
 saving time for the students. In conclusion, I disagree with the thought that
computers
 and mobile phones affect young people’s reading and writing
skills
. In fact, technology improves these
skills
 through different programs which can be used at any time of their preference.
Submitted by darshanadnj20 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that all paragraphs are cohesive with clear topic sentences. Each main point should be elaborated upon with specific examples and explanations. Use a range of linking words effectively and ensure transitions between ideas are smooth to enhance coherence.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task fully with a clear position throughout the response. Develop your main ideas thoroughly and support them with relevant examples or explanations. Aim to provide a fully developed response without irrelevant or repetitive information.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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