The rise of social media has affected personal relationships and society as a whole. Do the advantages of using media for communication outweigh the disadvantages?

Many
people
claim that the success of social
media
has influenced personal collaboration and society as a whole.
This
writer believes that the upsides of
this
suggestion exceed their drawbacks. On the one hand, the invention of networking played a significant role in life,
this
lead
Replace the word
led
show examples
to the evolution of social
media
, a lot of
people
enjoyed using
this
media
to get information, communicate, etc.
Additionally
,
this
statement
lead
Change the verb form
leads
show examples
to an increase
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
rate of using social networks, most of them
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
because of the convenience
while
using
this
way.
Besides
, social
media
let
Correct subject-verb agreement
lets
show examples
inhabitants
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
save their time, and money
of
Change preposition
by
show examples
using transportation. Taking smartphones as an example of
this
, users can
chatting
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chat
be chatting
show examples
with their relatives or
surfing
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surf
be surfing
show examples
the
webs
Fix the agreement mistake
web
show examples
in many applications
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
everywhere, every time.
Furthermore
, social
network
Fix the agreement mistake
networks
show examples
provide an environment
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
people
for marketing, educational content and
also
learning opportunities.
Media
is an enormous environment that can connect all inhabitants from all over the world,
this
idea can be a huge power for marketing products.
For instance
, Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram are
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
applications which are popular with
people
, they can organise marketing activities on
this
to approach more
people
with their products.
On the other hand
, these successes
also
bring some drawbacks to users.
The security
Correct article usage
Security
show examples
issues
also
make
people
lost
Wrong verb form
lose
show examples
their money or the spread of misinformation and fake news.
Such
as inhabitants can get
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fake and wrong information about something news or lose their money
while
shopping, there are lots of scammed websites that can cheat them. Taking everything into consideration,
this
suggestion
also
has both
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
benefits and downsides but I believe that those advantages outweigh its drawbacks.

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task response
Ensure that your essay has a clear, overarching thesis statement that guides the reader. Your argument should be clearly stated in the introduction and consistently supported throughout the essay.
task response
Develop paragraphs with clear topic sentences followed by explanation and specific examples. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea that relates directly to the question.
coherence and cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices appropriately to help with the flow of the essay. While some cohesion is evident, there is room for more sophisticated use of linking words and phrases.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that the introduction and conclusion are clearly marked and that they each perform their functions effectively: introducing the topic and summarizing the argument.
language use
Your essay would benefit from a more varied vocabulary and sophisticated sentence structures. This contributes to the clarity and persuasiveness of your argument.
language use
Avoid repetition of words and phrases; aim for lexical variety to demonstrate a wide range of language.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • global connectivity
  • networking opportunities
  • real-time information
  • community building
  • marketing opportunities
  • self-expression
  • educational content
  • privacy concerns
  • data security
  • misinformation
  • fake news
  • cyberbullying
  • interpersonal skills
  • distraction
  • productivity
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