The rise of social media has affected personal relationships a society as a whole. Do the advantages of using social for communication outweigh the disadvantages?

In today’s digital era, personal relationships and society at large have been impacted by the rise of social
media
. The author of
this
essay considers that
he
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
benefits of enabling individuals to communicate with their loved ones no matter where they are and providing chances for global friendship outweigh the drawback of the critic's concerns. The best thing about social
media
platforms for communication is that they make it easy for individuals to communicate with one
other
Correct quantifier usage
another
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, no matter where they are in the world.
This
is
due to
the fact that the
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
network is now established in about 200 locations, including far-flung places like African nations. Because social
media
relies on the internet to function,
people
may easily stay in touch with their loved ones by chatting or making calls using these platforms.
Moreover
, the widespread availability of these virtual networks gives
people
lots of chances to establish friendships with
people
all over the world. The prevalence of having international peers is rising as these social
media
platforms give their users the ability to locate and connect with
people
worldwide.
However
, there are certain issues with
this
socializing technique. Critics worry that the ease with which connections may be created could undermine the skill of making new acquaintances, as individuals don't appear to desire to meet in person.
This
is true, but it's
also
possible that they're unaware of all the offline activities and get-togethers that pals have planned on the internet. A benefit of social
media
is that it might help with physical communication skills improvement. All things considered, the potential impact of critic phobia is dwarfed by the benefits of closer interpersonal relationships and more opportunities to make friends.
Therefore
, using social networks to talk and chat with others can be more beneficial for
people
all over the world.
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coherence cohesion
The essay demonstrates overall an adequate logical structure; however, transitions between ideas could have been smoother. To improve, try to use a wider range of cohesive devices and ensure each paragraph flows seamlessly into the next.
coherence cohesion
While there is an introduction and conclusion, the conclusion could be more comprehensive in summarizing the argument's main points. It is important to restate the thesis and the main arguments in the conclusion to reinforce the essay's stance.
coherence cohesion
Some main points are supported, yet the essay would benefit from a deeper exploration of these points. Expand on each argument with more detailed explanations and evidence to strengthen the overall essay.
task achievement
The response addresses the task somewhat completely but could be enhanced by fully developing all parts of the prompt. To score higher, directly address the question on whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages and provide more content on this comparison.
task achievement
The ideas presented are clear, but at times they lack comprehensiveness. Try to fully elaborate on the ideas with broader explanations and insights to enhance the quality and depth of the essay.
task achievement
The essay includes some examples, but they are not sufficiently relevant or specific to the argument. Providing concrete examples that directly support your points will help to make the essay's arguments more persuasive and tangible.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • global connectivity
  • networking opportunities
  • real-time information
  • community building
  • marketing opportunities
  • self-expression
  • educational content
  • privacy concerns
  • data security
  • misinformation
  • fake news
  • cyberbullying
  • interpersonal skills
  • distraction
  • productivity
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