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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

the diagrams below show the life cycle of a spec ies of large fish called the salmon. summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

the diagrams below show the life cycle of a spec ies of large fish called the salmon. summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#diagrams #show #life #cycle #spec #ies #fish #salmon #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The diagram depicts the
life
 of a
salmon
.
Overall
, it is clearly apparent that
salmon
's
life
 cycle requires 3 steps that start with
eggs
 and
culminates
Correct subject-verb agreement
culminate
show examples
 in
adult
salmon
. Turning to the details,
first,
adult
salmon
 lays some
eggs
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the upper side of the river for about 5 to 6 months, the location
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
slow moving
Add a hyphen
slow-moving
show examples
 current.
This
eggs
Fix the agreement mistake
egg
show examples
 hatches and
turn
Correct subject-verb agreement
turns
show examples
 into
fry
Replace the word
fried
show examples
salmon
 that
have
Verb problem
are
show examples
 3-8cm in size. They
life
Replace the word
live
show examples
 in
lower
Add an article
the lower
show examples
 part of the river that
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 fast flowing current for approximately 4
years
. After 4
years
, they
turns
Change the verb form
turn
show examples
 into smolt or young
salmon
. It's about 12-15 cm. Young
salmon
life
Replace the word
live
show examples
 in open sea for around 5
years
.
Furtermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, after 5
years
, smolt turns into
adult
salmon
.
Adult
salmon
 have longer
body
Fix the agreement mistake
bodies
show examples
compares
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 to young
salmon
. All the salmons that have reached adulthood have the ability to
lays
Wrong verb form
lay
show examples
 some
eggs
. They
lays
Change the verb form
lay
show examples
 their
eggs
 in
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 area that
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 reeds and small stones and all the
eggs
 will hatch and
turns
Correct subject-verb agreement
turn
show examples
 into fry or baby
salmon
.
This
 process will
then
repeats
Correct subject-verb agreement
repeat
show examples
 over and over again.
Submitted by nientjeninan on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words life, salmon, eggs, adult, years with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼
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