IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The rise of social media has affected personal relationships and society as a whole. Do the advantages of using social media for comunication outweigh the disadvantages?

#rise #media #relationships #society #comunication
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In today's digital age, social media has been developing across the world,
people's
Correct word choice
and people's
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relationship
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relationships
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 and society
has
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have
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 seen changes over time.
This
 author believes that the advantages of bringing more opportunities
of
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for
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 promoting
bussiness
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business
 and enabling users to communicate quicker overshadowed the
drawback
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drawbacks
show examples
 of getting scammed.
To Begin
, social media has brought chances
of
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for
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 promotion for every online
bussiness
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business
.
This
 is because it enables
people
 to advertise their products online in a short time by texting
to
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apply
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online customers.
For instance
, many entrepreneurs use social media nowadays as a quicker way
leads
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lead
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 to success, the
percentages
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percentage
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 of
people
 renting advertisement signs declined by 10
percent
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per cent
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 since the invention of the Internet. Enabling users to communicate swifter can be considered
as
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apply
show examples
a part
and parcel
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and-parcel
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 benefit because of
it's
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its
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feature
Add an article
a feature
the feature
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 of connecting
people
 around the world. By way of explanation,
people
 are able to text their friends and relatives without sending letters.
For example
, Discord has added a feature of
enabling
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enables
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 gamers to communicate
players
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with players
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 all around the world to help them find
their
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a
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 suitable team for game tournaments.
However
, the drawback of getting scammed can
be avoid
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be avoided
show examples
 by being aware and realizing suspicious acts.
This
 is because most
people
 get scammed because they
are
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apply
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lack
of
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apply
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knowledge which creates opportunities for exploiters to take action.
For example
, exploiters
has
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have
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 attacked mostly
on
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apply
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young children and old
people
 because the victims can be considered innocent, the percentages of scams on old
people
is
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are
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 twice higher than
on
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apply
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young adults. Taking everything into consideration,
This
authors
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author
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 believes that
while
 bringing benefits of promotion for online
bussiness
Correct your spelling
businesses
 and
help
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helping
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people
 to chat quicker, the drawback of getting scammed can
be avoid
Change the verb form
be avoided
show examples
 by being aware and detecting strange activities of users.
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coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea that is well-developed and stays focused on that single topic.
coherence cohesion
Use cohesive devices appropriately but avoid overuse, as this can lead to mechanical writing.
coherence cohesion
To enhance logical structure, make sure each paragraph flows to the next and the overall essay is well-organized.
task achievement
Fully address all parts of the task by providing a balanced discussion of advantages versus disadvantages and ensure the essay directly answers the question posed.
task achievement
Make sure your ideas are clear and comprehensive by offering a thorough explanation of each point made, avoiding unclear or incomplete statements.
task achievement
Provide concrete and relevant examples to support your points and demonstrate a wide range of vocabulary and complex sentence structures.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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