The rise of social media has affected relationships and society as a whole. Do the advantages of using social media for communication outweigh the disadvangtages?
Social
media
can affect all types of relationships
in both positive and negative ways. It can help people
stay connected, but it not brings
the feeling of face to face. Wrong verb form
bring
This
situation, although
advantageous in certain aspects, is generally a detriment to true human communication
in the long run.
On the one hand, social media
can help people
stay connected to theirs
Correct pronoun usage
their
loved
, friends and family, especially when they are far away. In Correct pronoun usage
loved ones
the
other Correct article usage
apply
word
, it will help boost connectivity Fix the agreement mistake
words
between
our relationship if Change preposition
in
people
use it actively and people
can tweak their privacy levels and share more personal information or pictures through individual or group messages. For instance
, Instagram and Facebook are quick and convenient ways for long-distance loved ones to stay in touch.
While
it has made communication
more convenient, it has also
led to some negative effects. Furthermore
, overuse of social media
to communicate can lead to people
downplaying the importance of face-to-face interaction on which true human relationships
thrive. Additionally
, it makes the increase of unrealistic feeling
because you do not have any Fix the agreement mistake
feelings
fact
about someone Fix the agreement mistake
facts
thay
Correct your spelling
they
you
have met on social Correct pronoun usage
apply
media
. Nowadays, many young and reclusive users prefer living in a virtual world on social sites than
engaging in real-life Change preposition
to
relationships
. This
may have serious mental effects, such
as increased stress, anxiety and loneliness.
In conclusion, social media
has both positive and negative effects on communication
. It is up to individuals to use social media
in a way that enhances their communication
skills and relationships
with others.Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Your essay needs a clearer logical structure that sequentially builds up your argument. Try to link your ideas with connecting words and phrases to guide the reader smoothly from one point to the next.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present, which is good practice, but they need to clearly present the topic and your stance on the issue more prominently, and should mirror each other to effectively encapsulate your views.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each main point you present is adequately supported by evidence or examples. Your argument becomes more persuasive when each claim is followed by specific details that underscore your point.
task achievement
While you have responded to the task, you would benefit from a more explicit statement of your opinion on whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
task achievement
Your ideas are relevant, but the development of these ideas can be improved. Make sure you fully extend your main points and explore their implications, rather than just stating them.
task achievement
Aim to include a greater range of specific examples to illustrate your points. The use of concrete examples adds depth and authenticity to your response.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.