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Writing Samples
Band 7

When choosing a job, while some people think that the salary is the most important thing to be taken into consideration, others have a diverse view. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#job #people #salary #consideration
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Employee
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 preferences in choosing a workplace vary. Some people highlight the importance of
salary
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 but others more focus on non-material opportunities given by a
company
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.
This
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 essay will explore both sides of
employee
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 preferences.
Salary
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 is often seen as a proxy for how companies value their
employee
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. A higher
salary
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 offered by a
company
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 means that the
employee
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 has excellent skills and fulfilled the requirements.
As a result
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, the
employees
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 feel they are valuable and respected by their
company
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.
Additionally
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, the higher
salary
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 could compensate for the stress and pressure caused by working. The data shows that 20% of
employees
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 choose to stay in their
company
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 because of the high
salary
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 offered. One of the reasons is that the more money they receive the happier they are. Even if they have to survive in unfair competition.
However
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, some people think that a healthy working environment is more important than a high
salary
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.
Moreover
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, the availability of
opportunity
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opportunities
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 for self-development is another crucial feature for
employees
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 in choosing their workplace. That opportunity makes
employees
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 more excited about their jobs and
also
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 enhances their knowledge.
For instance
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, from the latest survey, 40% of
employees
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 - especially the millennial generation - choose to resign from their former
company
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 because of the toxic environment even though the
salary
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 is higher. In conclusion,
salary
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 shows the value of an
employee
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's skills and compensates for the stress and pressure of working.
Conversely
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, a better working environment and the possibility of a continuous learning process are preferable among the younger generation.
Submitted by dimitriswasthika on

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Task Achievement
To achieve a higher score in Task Achievement, ensure that your essay fully addresses all parts of the prompt. Include a more in-depth discussion on both views and provide a clearer, more explicit statement of your own opinion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Improve your score in Coherence and Cohesion by enhancing the logical transition between paragraphs. Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to better connect ideas and improve the overall flow of the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • quality of life
  • basic needs
  • save for the future
  • afford luxuries
  • sign of success
  • self-esteem
  • social status
  • job satisfaction
  • long-term happiness
  • emotional well-being
  • fulfilling job
  • higher productivity
  • sense of accomplishment
  • work-life balance
  • flexible working hours
  • remote work opportunities
  • good benefits
  • health insurance
  • retirement plans
  • professional development opportunities
  • subjective
  • individual needs
  • life circumstances
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