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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table below gives details of world electricity production by renewable sources in the four years between 2009 and 2012. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and making comparisons where relevant.

The table below gives details of world electricity production by renewable sources in the four years between 2009 and 2012. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and making comparisons where relevant.
#world #electricity #production #sources #four #years #information #features #comparisons
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The table depicts information about
electricity
Use synonyms
sources
Use synonyms
 by renewable energy, broken down into five different productions from 2009 to 2012. The figures are measured in
Trillion Watt Hours
Correct your spelling
trillion-watt hours
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 (TWh).
Overall
Linking Words
, it is noticeable that all of the
sources
Use synonyms
 had steadily increased
for
Change preposition
apply
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electricity
Use synonyms
 production over
four
Correct determiner usage
a
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years
Correct your spelling
four-year
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 period.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
hydraulic
Correct your spelling
hydraulics
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 had the highest proportion for generating
electricity
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 the lowest value was on solar energy. In 2009,
hydraulic
Correct your spelling
hydraulics
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 achieved the biggest number at 3,329 as opposed to solar
sources
Use synonyms
 which
was
Change the verb form
were
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 the least at just 21.
This
Linking Words
 figure
then
Linking Words
 continually increased to the end of the period.
Likewise
Linking Words
, wind power had the middle contribution to
generate
Wrong verb form
generating
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electricity
Use synonyms
 which
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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accounted for 276.4, and
this
Linking Words
 value
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
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remarkably climbed
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the high point
at
Change preposition
of
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 534 in 2012.
Similarly
Linking Words
, biomass power contributed
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
246.8 in the first year compared to the rest of the
sources
Use synonyms
 which had far
away
Correct your spelling
faraway
show examples
 value
at
Change preposition
of
show examples
 67.4.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words electricity, sources with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Renewable sources
  • Electricity production
  • Significant growth/decline
  • Yearly basis
  • Specific figures
  • Stagnated
  • Regional differences
  • Anomalies
  • Unexpected trends
  • Implications
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