If people go to live in another country, they should follow the local customs and traditions. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

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There is an unwritten rule applied when
people
Use synonyms
migrate to another country, they have to adapt to the culture of the inhabitants in terms of maintaining the balance of living circumstances there and respecting
local
Correct article usage
the local
show examples
lifestyle.
This
Linking Words
essay agrees with
this
Linking Words
hereditary habit.
People
Use synonyms
initially
Linking Words
are resilient from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other external distractions and physically try to preserve their built-in characteristics, especially when those have happened since a long time ago. The territorial lifestyle is
such
Linking Words
as cultural pride and dignity that must be conserved in order to keep the social balance between local
people
Use synonyms
and foreigners.
For example
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, Egypt has been a massive destination for Indonesians to actualize their education and pedagogy. Fortunately, it seems that likely no social problem occurred there since The Indonesians
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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managed to follow the traditional customs and the local
wisdoms
Change the wording
wisdom
pearls of wisdom
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. It is plausible
to conclude
Linking Words
that hardly can the stability of society be reached if there is no ensuing adaptation from the immigrants.
Subsequently
Linking Words
, the empirical reason why
this
Linking Words
essay is among the agreement’s proponents is
a
Remove the article
apply
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compulsive
respect
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between the entire elements of human beings. The
mutualism
Replace the word
mutual
show examples
respect
Use synonyms
sparks the continuous coexistence between the natives and the newcomers. The positive
ramification
Fix the agreement mistake
ramifications
show examples
would have been conducted if the
people
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living in a foreign country had not adapted well. It
is
Wrong verb form
was
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exemplified relevantly when the
western
Capitalize word
Western
show examples
people
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came to the continent of America a
couple
Add the preposition
couple of
show examples
centuries ago.
Instead
Linking Words
of nurturing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social
respect
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, they selfishly disrupted the life of indigenous
people
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there and it was more like an occupation and invasion than just a normal transmigration.
To sum up
Linking Words
, following the local customs and traditions is compulsory for all the
people
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going to live in another country. So do I agree with that in order to reach the stability of social life and
respect
Use synonyms
the native characteristics
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
Submitted by yaqzhanelkiya01 on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay has a recognizable structure and logical flow, but it could benefit from clearer paragraph divisions and the use of linking words to better connect your ideas. Ensure each paragraph focuses on one main idea and use cohesive devices to make transitions between paragraphs smoother.
task achievement
You addressed the topic and provided some relevant examples, but your response could be more fully developed. Expand on your ideas and provide more detailed examples to illustrate your points. Make sure each paragraph contains a clear topic sentence and that all subsequent sentences in the paragraph support that idea effectively.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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