Governments should ban dangerous sports. Others think that people should have the freedom to do any sport activity. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

#governments #ban #sports #people #freedom #sport #activity

Some people

argued

Wrong verb form

argue

show examples

that it is

neccessary

Correct your spelling

necessary

to restrict dangerous

games

while

opponents believe that

partcipants

Correct your spelling

participants

have

Correct article usage

the freedom

show examples

freedom

Correct article usage

the freedom

show examples

Wrong verb form

choose

show examples

chose

Wrong verb form

choose

show examples

any sport

although

they are risky.I

beleive

Correct your spelling

believe

that people should be allowed to participate

any

Change preposition

in any

show examples

kind of

sport

Fix the agreement mistake

sports

show examples

acticity

Correct your spelling

activity

but

its

Replace the word

it's

it is

show examples

essential to regulate and minimize the risks associated with dangerous

sports

. Those who compel

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

ban

of dangerous

games

argue that these activities

put

Verb problem

pose

show examples

a significant risk to the participants's

safety

.For

examples

Fix the agreement mistake

example

show examples

skydive

Wrong verb form

skydiving

show examples

bungee

Correct word choice

and bungee

show examples

jumping involve high altitudes, which are risky

that

Correct word choice

and

show examples

may lead to injuries.

In addition

sports

such

as martial arts and boxing sometimes can cause severe life injuries

such

as deaths.

Therefore

propenents

Correct your spelling

proponents

may think that banning these

games

would reduce the risk of injuries and fatalities.

On the other hand

, proponents of the freedom to

involve

Wrong verb form

be involved

show examples

such

sports

argue that imposing

restictions

Correct your spelling

restrictions

on these

sports

might cause

humans'

Change noun form

humans

show examples

liberty as they have a choice to

chose

Wrong verb form

choose

show examples

anything that they want. They believe that imposing

ban

Correct article usage

a ban

show examples

dictate

Correct subject-verb agreement

dictates

show examples

human rights because person who participate

those

Correct word choice

in those

show examples

sports

make a sense of their achievement.To illustrate,

Correct article usage

the red

show examples

red bull

Correct your spelling

Red Bull

show examples

bungee jumping team

willing

Add a missing verb

is willing

show examples

take

Fix the infinitive

to take

show examples

those

Correct determiner usage

apply

show examples

calculated risks because they think that it

would

Wrong verb form

will

show examples

their

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

full of achievement. So, I believe that governments should not

ban

dangerous

sports

but should impose some regulations like age limits and

safety

features to minimize the associated risks.To give an example, governments must set

safety

guidelines, age limits, mandatory

safety

equipments

Change the wording

equipment

types of equipment

pieces of equipment

show examples

and

high quality

Add a hyphen

high-quality

show examples

professional supervision to ensure

individuals

Change noun form

individuals'

individual's

show examples

safety

. In conclusion, if everyone has

Correct article usage

the

show examples

freedom to participate in any sport without any influence and nobody can

ban

Change preposition

apply

show examples

such

sports

But

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

everyone should

aware

Add a missing verb

be aware

show examples

of the value of their lives and they should be bound

with

Change preposition

show examples

safety

guidelines and wear

safety

Correct article usage

the safety

show examples

equipments

Change the wording

equipment

types of equipment

pieces of equipment

show examples

which

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

required before participating any kind of dangerous

games

Submitted by Praslah on Tue Jan 16 2024

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coherence cohesion

Make sure to organize your essay into clear paragraphs - introduction, body, and conclusion. Use linking words to connect ideas and paragraphs for better flow. Avoid repetition and clarify your main points.

task achievement

Address all parts of the task by discussing both views and your own opinion. Your opinion should be clear throughout your essay. Expand and support your ideas with specific examples and explanations.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
44Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

298 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Governments should ban dangerous sports. Others think that people should have the freedom to do any sport activity. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

The older generations tend to have very traditional ideas about how people should live, think and behave. However, some people believe that these ideas are not helpful in preparing younger generations for modern life. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later, and it is often argued that these are the best people to talk to teenagers about the dangers of committing a crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

.Nowadays, people always throw old things and have new things. What factors cause this phenomenon? What effect does this phenomenon lead to?

Many countries use fossil fuels (coal, oil, natural gas) as the main source of energy. However, in some countries the use of the alternative sources of energy (wind energy and solar energy) is encouraged. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this development?