Governments should ban dangerous sports. Others think that people should have the freedom to do any sport activity. Discuss both sides and give your opinion
Some people
argued
that it is Wrong verb form
argue
neccessary
to restrict dangerous Correct your spelling
necessary
games
while
opponents believe that partcipants
have Correct your spelling
participants
Correct article usage
the freedom
freedom
to Correct article usage
the freedom
Wrong verb form
choose
chose
any sport Wrong verb form
choose
although
they are risky.I beleive
that people should be allowed to participate Correct your spelling
believe
any
kind of Change preposition
in any
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
acticity
but Correct your spelling
activity
its
essential to regulate and minimize the risks associated with dangerous Replace the word
it's
it is
sports
.
Those who compel for
the Change preposition
apply
ban
of dangerous games
argue that these activities put
a significant risk to the participants's Verb problem
pose
safety
.For examples
, Fix the agreement mistake
example
skydive
, Wrong verb form
skydiving
bungee
jumping involve high altitudes, which are risky Correct word choice
and bungee
that
may lead to injuries.Correct word choice
and
In addition
, sports
such
as martial arts and boxing sometimes can cause severe life injuries such
as deaths.Therefore
,propenents
may think that banning these Correct your spelling
proponents
games
would reduce the risk of injuries and fatalities.
On the other hand
, proponents of the freedom to involve
in Wrong verb form
be involved
such
sports
argue that imposing restictions
on these Correct your spelling
restrictions
sports
might cause humans'
liberty as they have a choice to Change noun form
humans
chose
anything that they want. They believe that imposing Wrong verb form
choose
ban
Correct article usage
a ban
dictate
human rights because person who participate Correct subject-verb agreement
dictates
those
Correct word choice
in those
sports
make a sense of their achievement.To illustrate, Correct article usage
the red
red bull
bungee jumping team Correct your spelling
Red Bull
willing
Add a missing verb
is willing
take
Fix the infinitive
to take
those
calculated risks because they think that it Correct determiner usage
apply
would
be Wrong verb form
will
their
full of achievement. So, I believe that governments should not Correct pronoun usage
apply
ban
dangerous sports
but should impose some regulations like age limits and safety
features to minimize the associated risks.To give an example, governments must set safety
guidelines, age limits, mandatory safety
equipments
and Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
high quality
professional supervision to ensure Add a hyphen
high-quality
individuals
Change noun form
individuals'
individual's
safety
.
In conclusion, if everyone has a
freedom to participate in any sport without any influence and nobody can Correct article usage
the
ban
on
Change preposition
apply
such
sports
, But
everyone should Correct word choice
apply
aware
of the value of their lives and they should be bound Add a missing verb
be aware
with
Change preposition
by
safety
guidelines and wear safety
Correct article usage
the safety
equipments
which Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
are
required before participating any kind of dangerous Correct subject-verb agreement
is
games
.Submitted by Praslah on
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coherence cohesion
Make sure to organize your essay into clear paragraphs - introduction, body, and conclusion. Use linking words to connect ideas and paragraphs for better flow. Avoid repetition and clarify your main points.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task by discussing both views and your own opinion. Your opinion should be clear throughout your essay. Expand and support your ideas with specific examples and explanations.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite