Governments should ban dangerous sports. Others think that people should have the freedom to do any sport activity. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

Some people
argued
Wrong verb form
argue
show examples
that it is
neccessary
Correct your spelling
necessary
to restrict dangerous
games
while
opponents believe that
partcipants
Correct your spelling
participants
have
Correct article usage
the freedom
show examples
freedom
Correct article usage
the freedom
show examples
to
Wrong verb form
choose
show examples
chose
Wrong verb form
choose
show examples
any sport
although
they are risky.I
beleive
Correct your spelling
believe
that people should be allowed to participate
any
Change preposition
in any
show examples
kind of
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
acticity
Correct your spelling
activity
but
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
essential to regulate and minimize the risks associated with dangerous
sports
. Those who compel
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
ban
of dangerous
games
argue that these activities
put
Verb problem
pose
show examples
a significant risk to the participants's
safety
.For
examples
Fix the agreement mistake
example
show examples
,
skydive
Wrong verb form
skydiving
show examples
,
bungee
Correct word choice
and bungee
show examples
jumping involve high altitudes, which are risky
that
Correct word choice
and
show examples
may lead to injuries.
In addition
,
sports
such
as martial arts and boxing sometimes can cause severe life injuries
such
as deaths.
Therefore
,
propenents
Correct your spelling
proponents
may think that banning these
games
would reduce the risk of injuries and fatalities.
On the other hand
, proponents of the freedom to
involve
Wrong verb form
be involved
show examples
in
such
sports
argue that imposing
restictions
Correct your spelling
restrictions
on these
sports
might cause
humans'
Change noun form
humans
show examples
liberty as they have a choice to
chose
Wrong verb form
choose
show examples
anything that they want. They believe that imposing
ban
Correct article usage
a ban
show examples
dictate
Correct subject-verb agreement
dictates
show examples
human rights because person who participate
those
Correct word choice
in those
show examples
sports
make a sense of their achievement.To illustrate,
Correct article usage
the red
show examples
red bull
Correct your spelling
Red Bull
show examples
bungee jumping team
willing
Add a missing verb
is willing
show examples
take
Fix the infinitive
to take
show examples
those
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
calculated risks because they think that it
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
be
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
full of achievement. So, I believe that governments should not
ban
dangerous
sports
but should impose some regulations like age limits and
safety
features to minimize the associated risks.To give an example, governments must set
safety
guidelines, age limits, mandatory
safety
equipments
Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
show examples
and
high quality
Add a hyphen
high-quality
show examples
professional supervision to ensure
individuals
Change noun form
individuals'
individual's
show examples
safety
. In conclusion, if everyone has
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
freedom to participate in any sport without any influence and nobody can
ban
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
such
sports
,
But
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
everyone should
aware
Add a missing verb
be aware
show examples
of the value of their lives and they should be bound
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
safety
guidelines and wear
safety
Correct article usage
the safety
show examples
equipments
Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
show examples
which
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
required before participating any kind of dangerous
games
.
Submitted by Praslah on

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coherence cohesion
Make sure to organize your essay into clear paragraphs - introduction, body, and conclusion. Use linking words to connect ideas and paragraphs for better flow. Avoid repetition and clarify your main points.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task by discussing both views and your own opinion. Your opinion should be clear throughout your essay. Expand and support your ideas with specific examples and explanations.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
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  • urgent medical treatment
  • guardians of public safety
  • undue harm
  • personal expression
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  • resilience
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