nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed ?

These days people
prefere
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prefer
to
being
Wrong verb form
be
show examples
self-employed, rather than
employee
Correct article usage
an employee
show examples
and
work
Wrong verb form
working
show examples
for others. It is plausible
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
if people lean toward being self-employed, but it has some cons.
This
assay will provide my personal view in detail. There are many factors involved that why people want to be
empolyer
Correct your spelling
employer
employed
. One of the significant
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
is,
thay
Correct your spelling
they
are allowed to have flexible working hours,
There fore
Correct your spelling
Therefore
show examples
they can
prioretize
Correct your spelling
prioritize
prioritise
their time and they are able to take care of themselves. The second reason is
well-paid
Add an article
a well-paid
show examples
job
that they can have through being
self-empoyed
Correct your spelling
self-employed
.
Fore
Correct your spelling
For
show examples
example those who invest
a large chunks
Correct the article-noun agreement
a large chunk
large chunks
show examples
of money into their
bussines
Correct your spelling
business
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
will earn more money than
who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
show examples
are just an employee. Among all
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
show examples
that
self-employed
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a self-employed
show examples
can have, some disadvantages are important to consider. Some employer
do
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does
show examples
not know about
risks
Correct article usage
the risks
show examples
of their
job
that would
be appear
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appear
show examples
in the long run.
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
those risks could put their
job
threatened.
Moreover
, they are
some times
Correct your spelling
sometimes
show examples
in danger of bankruptcy.
For instance
,
while
they are under pressure they are going to be
nervause
Correct your spelling
nervous
, so they can not choose the best way, and
some times
Correct your spelling
sometimes
show examples
they
wrong
Add a missing verb
are wrong
show examples
,
then
they might lose their
job
.
As a result
, being
a
Change the article
an
show examples
employer is a challenging
job
. In conclusion,
self-employed
Add a missing verb
being self-employed
show examples
has both advantages and disadvantages. But I think if the person
like
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likes
show examples
challenging
Add an article
a challenging
show examples
job
, would be the best choice for him.
Otherwise
, it leads to
Correct article usage
a lose
show examples
lose
Replace the word
loss
show examples
huge of money.
Submitted by hastytajassosy on

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Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a fundamental error in its logical structure, due not only to the frequent grammatical and spelling errors but also to the lack of clear paragraphing that appropriately segments the content. Consider revising the essay with better-defined paragraphs that begin with a clear topic sentence and follow a logical flow of ideas.
Task Achievement
Your essay does not effectively address all parts of the prompt. While it does discuss some reasons for being self-employed and hints at disadvantages, the response would be improved by providing a more balanced examination of both aspects of the prompt as well as clearer, more comprehensive ideas.
Task Achievement
Use of examples is important in this kind of essay to elucidate and support your points. Work on providing more targeted, relevant examples to back up the ideas presented in each paragraph. This will help make your argument more persuasive and satisfy the requirements of the task.
Coherence & Cohesion
You must review your essay for spelling, punctuation, and grammatical accuracy. Any recurring errors can significantly impact the clarity of the content and lower your score. Be vigilant about verb forms and subject-verb agreement, as well as the correct use of articles.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • self-employment
  • freelancing
  • entrepreneurship
  • autonomy
  • financial stability
  • work-life balance
  • financial insecurity
  • lack of support
  • resources
  • long working hours
  • uncertain income
  • job security
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