nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed ?
These days people
prefere
to Correct your spelling
prefer
being
self-employed, rather than Wrong verb form
be
employee
and Correct article usage
an employee
work
for others. It is plausibleWrong verb form
working
,
if people lean toward being self-employed, but it has some cons. Remove the comma
apply
This
assay will provide my personal view in detail.
There are many factors involved that why people want to be empolyer
. One of the significant Correct your spelling
employer
employed
reason
is, Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
thay
are allowed to have flexible working hours, Correct your spelling
they
There fore
they can Correct your spelling
Therefore
prioretize
their time and they are able to take care of themselves. The second reason is Correct your spelling
prioritize
prioritise
well-paid
Add an article
a well-paid
job
that they can have through being self-empoyed
. Correct your spelling
self-employed
Fore
example those who invest Correct your spelling
For
a large chunks
of money into their Correct the article-noun agreement
a large chunk
large chunks
bussines
Correct your spelling
business
they
will earn more money than Correct pronoun usage
apply
who
are just an employee.
Among all Correct pronoun usage
those who
advantages
that Correct article usage
the advantages
self-employed
can have, some disadvantages are important to consider. Some employer Correct article usage
a self-employed
do
not know about Change the verb form
does
risks
of their Correct article usage
the risks
job
that would be appear
in the long run. Change the verb form
appear
However
those risks could put their Add a comma
However,
job
threatened. Moreover
, they are some times
in danger of bankruptcy. Correct your spelling
sometimes
For instance
, while
they are under pressure they are going to be nervause
, so they can not choose the best way, and Correct your spelling
nervous
some times
they Correct your spelling
sometimes
wrong
, Add a missing verb
are wrong
then
they might lose their job
. As a result
, being a
employer is a challenging Change the article
an
job
.
In conclusion, self-employed
has both advantages and disadvantages. But I think if the person Add a missing verb
being self-employed
like
Replace the word
likes
challenging
Add an article
a challenging
job
, would be the best choice for him. Otherwise
, it leads to Correct article usage
a lose
lose
huge of money.Replace the word
loss
Submitted by hastytajassosy on
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Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a fundamental error in its logical structure, due not only to the frequent grammatical and spelling errors but also to the lack of clear paragraphing that appropriately segments the content. Consider revising the essay with better-defined paragraphs that begin with a clear topic sentence and follow a logical flow of ideas.
Task Achievement
Your essay does not effectively address all parts of the prompt. While it does discuss some reasons for being self-employed and hints at disadvantages, the response would be improved by providing a more balanced examination of both aspects of the prompt as well as clearer, more comprehensive ideas.
Task Achievement
Use of examples is important in this kind of essay to elucidate and support your points. Work on providing more targeted, relevant examples to back up the ideas presented in each paragraph. This will help make your argument more persuasive and satisfy the requirements of the task.
Coherence & Cohesion
You must review your essay for spelling, punctuation, and grammatical accuracy. Any recurring errors can significantly impact the clarity of the content and lower your score. Be vigilant about verb forms and subject-verb agreement, as well as the correct use of articles.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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