In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative situation?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Every
people
Fix the agreement mistake
person
show examples
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
show examples
a place to settle down,
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
in some
countries
Add a comma
countries,
show examples
not everyone
could owning
Wrong verb form
can own
show examples
a
home
and
forced
Add a missing verb
be forced
show examples
to
renting
Wrong verb form
rent
show examples
for their lifetime. Most
people
said
Wrong verb form
say
show examples
one’s
Change the noun form
ones
one
show examples
should have a permanent place to
wrote
Wrong verb form
write
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
id
Correct your spelling
ID
show examples
card, which in my opinion
this
case is a positive one because owning a
home
has more advantages in the long run. Having houses can be beneficial for
people
, considering the future advantages as
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
form of investment.
For instance
, my parents
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
bought a house in 2010 with
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
price
Rp
Change preposition
of Rp
show examples
350,000,000,-,
now
Correct word choice
and now
show examples
the value of it has already reached
the
Change the word
its
show examples
peak twice. If more
people
…. Owning a
home
is not an easy task. The high inflation, increase
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
human population and
lask
Correct your spelling
lack
show examples
of spaces
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
housing are some of the
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
. These days,
people
the closer workplace and their
home
are considered
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
whealthy
Correct your spelling
wealthy
healthy
or lucky
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
because most land in the cities
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
overpriced and really expensive so the only
solutions
Fix the agreement mistake
solution
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
to
renting
Wrong verb form
rent
show examples
a place which close to their workplace. Renting a
home
could provide better transportation in town and shorter time which
increase
Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
show examples
quality
Add an article
the quality
show examples
of time but
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
harder to have
permanent
Add an article
a permanent
the permanent
show examples
house and still have a chance to be evicted by the landlords.
This
situation is really bad, in the future, owning a
home
can be just a dream, even for now over 90% of
wealth
Add an article
the wealth
show examples
in the world
owned
Add a missing verb
is owned
show examples
by only 1% of
whole
Correct article usage
the whole
show examples
human
populations
Fix the agreement mistake
population
show examples
. By owning a
home
, a person can have more sense of security, more freedom
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
act in their space,
also
for better identification in the
id
Correct your spelling
ID
show examples
card. If
people
can
owning
Wrong verb form
own
show examples
and
home
happens
Verb problem
apply
show examples
more frequently
thus
criminals
are
Wrong verb form
be
show examples
easy to
be located
Wrong verb form
locate
show examples
, the public transportation can be planned more thoroughly rather just than the
high
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
density
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
with many
rent
Replace the word
rented
show examples
homes,
also
, society can be tighter than now because
neighborhood
Correct article usage
the neighborhood
show examples
knows every person in the blocks rather than changing very year or so. In
conclution
Correct your spelling
conclusion
the thoughts of owning a
home
are planted in every
generations
Change to a singular noun
generation
show examples
in some countries
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
still good and
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
better impacts,
although
option
Add an article
the option
show examples
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
renting is not that bad at all to raise
fund
Fix the agreement mistake
funds
show examples
before
buy
Change the verb form
buying
show examples
a house.
People
need to
collects
Wrong verb form
collect
show examples
their thoughts and
weight
Correct your spelling
weigh
show examples
the plus and minus of every decision. It is still a blessing to have
roof
Add an article
a roof
show examples
over our
head
Fix the agreement mistake
heads
show examples
by renting rather than
homeless
Add a missing verb
being homeless
show examples
at all.
Submitted by claudideborah on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure that the essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each paragraph should serve a clear purpose with a topic sentence and supporting sentences.
coherence cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices accurately and effectively to manage the progression of your argument.
coherence cohesion
Work on the logical development of ideas. Avoid abrupt transitions and ensure that each point logically follows from the previous one to enhance the overall clarity.
task achievement
Completely answer all parts of the question. The essay seems to touch on relevant points, but some parts of the response are underdeveloped.
task achievement
Develop your main points more fully with supporting details and examples. Each point you make should be clearly explained and supported.
task achievement
Provide specific examples to support your points. Examples help to illustrate your argument and provide a clear understanding of your ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • ownership
  • renting
  • importance
  • sense of security
  • stability
  • financial investment
  • asset
  • customize
  • decorate
  • belonging
  • community
  • potential
  • future generations
  • long-term
  • cost advantage
  • control
  • living space
What to do next:
Look at other essays: