In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative situation?
Every
people
Fix the agreement mistake
person
need
a place to settle down, Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
however
in some Add a comma
however,
countries
not everyone Add a comma
countries,
could owning
a Wrong verb form
can own
home
and forced
to Add a missing verb
be forced
renting
for their lifetime. Most Wrong verb form
rent
people
said
Wrong verb form
say
one’s
should have a permanent place to Change the noun form
ones
one
wrote
Wrong verb form
write
in
the Change preposition
on
id
card, which in my opinion Correct your spelling
ID
this
case is a positive one because owning a home
has more advantages in the long run.
Having houses can be beneficial for people
, considering the future advantages as the
form of investment. Correct article usage
a
For instance
, my parents who
bought a house in 2010 with Correct pronoun usage
apply
the
price Correct article usage
a
Rp
350,000,000,-, Change preposition
of Rp
now
the value of it has already reached Correct word choice
and now
the
peak twice. If more Change the word
its
people
….
Owning a home
is not an easy task. The high inflation, increase of
human population and Change preposition
in
lask
of spaces Correct your spelling
lack
of
housing are some of the Change preposition
for
reason
. These days, Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
people
the closer workplace and their home
are considered as
Change preposition
apply
a
Correct article usage
apply
whealthy
or lucky Correct your spelling
wealthy
healthy
one
because most land in the cities Correct pronoun usage
apply
are
overpriced and really expensive so the only Correct subject-verb agreement
is
solutions
Fix the agreement mistake
solution
are
to Correct subject-verb agreement
is
renting
a place which close to their workplace. Renting a Wrong verb form
rent
home
could provide better transportation in town and shorter time which increase
Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
quality
of time but Add an article
the quality
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
them
harder to have Correct pronoun usage
it
permanent
house and still have a chance to be evicted by the landlords.
Add an article
a permanent
the permanent
This
situation is really bad, in the future, owning a home
can be just a dream, even for now over 90% of wealth
in the world Add an article
the wealth
owned
by only 1% of Add a missing verb
is owned
whole
human Correct article usage
the whole
populations
. By owning a Fix the agreement mistake
population
home
, a person can have more sense of security, more freedom of
act in their space, Change preposition
to
also
for better identification in the id
card. If Correct your spelling
ID
people
can owning
and Wrong verb form
own
home
happens
more frequently Verb problem
apply
thus
criminals are
easy to Wrong verb form
be
be located
, the public transportation can be planned more thoroughly rather just than the Wrong verb form
locate
high
density Correct word choice
apply
one
with many Correct pronoun usage
ones
rent
homes, Replace the word
rented
also
, society can be tighter than now because neighborhood
knows every person in the blocks rather than changing very year or so.
In Correct article usage
the neighborhood
conclution
the thoughts of owning a Correct your spelling
conclusion
home
are planted in every generations
in some countries Change to a singular noun
generation
are
still good and Correct subject-verb agreement
is
have
better impacts, Correct subject-verb agreement
has
although
option
Add an article
the option
for
renting is not that bad at all to raise Change preposition
of
fund
before Fix the agreement mistake
funds
buy
a house. Change the verb form
buying
People
need to collects
their thoughts and Wrong verb form
collect
weight
the plus and minus of every decision. It is still a blessing to have Correct your spelling
weigh
roof
over our Add an article
a roof
head
by renting rather than Fix the agreement mistake
heads
homeless
at all.Add a missing verb
being homeless
Submitted by claudideborah on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that the essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each paragraph should serve a clear purpose with a topic sentence and supporting sentences.
coherence cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices accurately and effectively to manage the progression of your argument.
coherence cohesion
Work on the logical development of ideas. Avoid abrupt transitions and ensure that each point logically follows from the previous one to enhance the overall clarity.
task achievement
Completely answer all parts of the question. The essay seems to touch on relevant points, but some parts of the response are underdeveloped.
task achievement
Develop your main points more fully with supporting details and examples. Each point you make should be clearly explained and supported.
task achievement
Provide specific examples to support your points. Examples help to illustrate your argument and provide a clear understanding of your ideas.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS
Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!