IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

In many countries, the number of animals and plants is declining. Why do you think this is happening? How can this issue be solved?

In recent years, fauna and flora
are
Wrong verb form
have been
show examples
 decreasing and on the verge of extinction .
This
Linking Words
 essay is devoted to the underlying reasons for the decline of livestock and plants, followed by some effective resolutions to
this
Linking Words
 severe problem There are several factors leading to the decline of
animals
Use synonyms
 and plants, especially
people
Use synonyms
’s insatiable greed. A wealth of illegal markets trade
animals
Use synonyms
 and
plants’
Change noun form
plants
show examples
 products with high prices to pursue economic growth, which encourages numerous
people
Use synonyms
 to commit illegal acts. To be specific,
people
Use synonyms
 poach rhinoceros to collect their horns, which are used to decorate or make jewellery.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 block wood to produce precious furniture.
Thus
Linking Words
, personal interest and rewards contribute to the increase of fauna and flora’s extinction rate.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 should take action to conserve threatened species. On the government level, they should enforce strict
law
Fix the agreement mistake
laws
show examples
 and have treatment for
people
Use synonyms
 cutting down trees and poaching illegally
such
Linking Words
 as heavy fines and imprisonment.
In addition
Linking Words
, the authorities ought to raise public awareness of
conservation
Correct article usage
the conservation
show examples
 of
animals
Use synonyms
 and plants’
habitat
Fix the agreement mistake
habitats
show examples
through media platforms and launch campaigns against purchasing commodities made from wild fauna and flora. On the individual level, each resident should boycott products made from wild
animals
Use synonyms
 or timber like animal-skinned clothes or plant-made commodities. In conclusion,
people
Use synonyms
’s greed is one of the main reasons why the population of
animals
Use synonyms
 and plants have reduced sharply and are on the brink of extinction . To solve the problem, it is necessary for both individuals and governors to join hands.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
For a higher score in Task Achievement, provide more specific details and examples to support your points. This will make your essay more compelling and show a deeper understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Enhance coherence by ensuring smooth transitions between sentences and paragraphs. This can make your essay easier to read and follow.
language use
Include more varied vocabulary and complex sentence structures to showcase your language skills. This can contribute to a higher band score in the Writing section.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This is essential for a high score in Coherence and Cohesion.
task achievement
You have addressed the prompt effectively, identifying causes and solutions for the decline in animals and plants. This completeness is key for a good Task Achievement score.
task achievement
The examples provided, such as poaching rhinoceroses for their horns, are relevant and help illustrate your points. This strengthens your Task Achievement score.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • ecosystem
  • urbanization
  • deforestation
  • agricultural expansion
  • pollution control
  • greenhouse gas emissions
  • renewable energy
  • sustainable practices
  • overexploitation
  • invasive species
  • conservation
  • quarantine measures
  • eradication programs
  • public awareness campaigns
  • habitat destruction
  • climate change
  • natural habitats
  • species decline
What to do next:
Look at other essays: