IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

University education system is one of the most widely discussed topics these days. Many people believe that college students should be allowed to choose subjects they like to study. Others think that it is always better to learn subjects that have relevance in the future and I agree with them. Both views will be discussed in this essay

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A number of humans believe that college and university students
be
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
 supposed to
available
Add a missing verb
be available
show examples
 to select the major which they prefer to learn.
Then
Linking Words
,
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 thought that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the effective method to study the major subject that can easily get employment is the most important part to consider after they graduate. On the one hand, in
this
Linking Words
 social era, both are
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the consideration list.
But
Correct word choice
However
show examples
,
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 who want to pursue the major field that they like to research,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
might have
passion
Correct article usage
the passion
show examples
 and confidence to achieve their education goals
such
Linking Words
 as medicine, computers, animals, and other things.
Thus
Linking Words
, they were disciplined to explore what they were interested in, it could be
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
a point.
For example
Linking Words
, if learners have no fascination
on
Change preposition
with
show examples
their
Change the word
the
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 causes that they learning, that could be the way to ruin the student’s enthusiasm and future.
Therefore
Linking Words
, folks think
take
Wrong verb form
taking
show examples
 a particular major can create innovative young
people
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
after
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the covid-19
diseases
Fix the agreement mistake
disease
show examples
because
Correct word choice
and
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 of the globalization
recession
Add a comma
recession,
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
caused a significant number of
people
Use synonyms
 to lack employment. Through
this
Linking Words
 lesson,
people
Use synonyms
 start to have awareness about jobs.
For instance
Linking Words
, in the past jobs were easier to find since every sector achieved
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 own accomplishment but now because of the business challenges numerous companies and fields
encountered
Wrong verb form
encounter
show examples
out
Change preposition
apply
show examples
.
Thus
Linking Words
, to be safer some proportion of humans tend to learn the major which can favourably apply for a job. In conclusion, both views can depend on the country's circumstances, but I generally prefer to continue my studies
which
Change preposition
in which
show examples
 jobs have abundant opportunities.

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introduction conclusion present
Ensure you have a clear introduction and conclusion that reflect the main points of your essay. The introduction should comprehensively present the topic and your thesis statement, while the conclusion should succinctly summarize your discussion and restate your opinion.
logical structure
Your essay needs to have a logical structure, which means ideas should be organized in a clear and logical manner. Use paragraphs effectively, each containing one main idea with supporting sentences that tie back to your overall argument.
supported main points
Support your main points with clear, relevant examples. Instead of general statements, provide specific situations, data, or research to strengthen your argument.
complete response
Ensure your essay responds fully to all parts of the question. Discuss both sides of the argument and provide your own opinion with clear reasons.
clear comprehensive ideas
Work on presenting clear and comprehensive ideas. Each paragraph should convey a single clear idea that progresses the argument. Avoid ambiguity and ensure that the connections between sentences and paragraphs are clear.
relevant specific examples
Use specific examples to support your ideas. The inclusion of relevant, detailed examples can greatly strengthen your arguments and demonstrate the depth of your understanding.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • creativity and engagement
  • innovative research
  • customized educational experience
  • individual strengths and career aspirations
  • competitive job market
  • high-demand industries
  • financial stability
  • skill gaps
  • societal development
  • interdisciplinary learning
  • foundational knowledge
  • specialized skills
  • balanced approach
  • adaptability
  • rigid curriculum
  • dropout rates
  • middle-ground approach
  • compulsory courses
  • flexible educational framework
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