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Band 5

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries,but it does not solve poverty .Therefore develop countires should give other types of help to poor countries rather than financial aid .To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

#countries #money #poverty #countires #aid
It is well known that almost all rich
nations
 help poor
nations
.
However
, some people think that it might not solve the property problems of poor
nations
 by donating
money
, they suggest that developed
countries
 should provide other types of help to the poor
ones
. From my point of view, I am not that opposed to donating
money
, but it should be better
by providing
Change preposition
to provide
show examples
 other types of help. It is undeniable that donating
money
by
Change preposition
from
show examples
 wealthy
nations
 to poor
ones
 can solve a lot of problems and can be effective.
However
, there might be a temporary solution for poverty if they do not efficiently use that
money
 in property ways and
then
 that can be false hope for poor nation's citizens by suggesting that developed
countries
 will always help them with
money
 and they might not need to afford and they will rely on offering
money
. And
other problems
Fix the agreement mistake
Another problem
show examples
of
Change preposition
with
show examples
 financial
support
 is that it can be fraud by not distributing equally to every needed
areas
Change to a singular noun
area
show examples
.
On the other hand
, I am strongly in
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
 of providing other types of
support
such
 as health
support
 and investment in education for poor
countries
. Developed
countries
 should provide a lot of hospitals and needed medicines to poor
ones
 in that way the health systems will be
improving
Wrong verb form
improve
show examples
 a lot.
In addition
, developed
ones
 may be offering some kind of scholarships for outstanding students of underprivileged
nations
, and
then
 they can provide training sessions for teachers.
This
 kind of
support
 will be more suitable for poor
nations
 than financial aid. In conclusion, I strongly agree that developed
nations
 should
support
Verb problem
provide
show examples
 other kinds of
support
 to poor
ones
 than financial providing.
Submitted by wynenu94 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
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Task Achievement
Be sure to fully extend and support your main points, possibly by including clear and specific examples to underpin your arguments. Make sure the essay addresses all parts of the task and uses less common lexical items with some awareness of style and collocation.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Sustainable development
  • Self-sufficiency
  • Capacity-building
  • Economic growth
  • Innovation
  • Infrastructure
  • Agricultural development
  • Cultural exchange
  • Emergency relief
  • Economic disparity
  • Trade agreements
  • Health care systems
  • Monetary assistance
  • Earmarked funds
  • Investment in education
  • Technology transfer
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