In many countries, it is now illegal to advertise alcohol. Do you agree or disagree?

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Alcoholic beverages are banned at the present.

This

Linking Words

essay completely

agree

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agrees

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with

this

Linking Words

initiative because

alcohol

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can cause serious health conditions and

it's

Correct your spelling

its

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promotion leads to buying, & consuming more. To commence with, Major health problems are associated with drinking

alcohol

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. Consuming excessive

amount

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amounts

show examples

alcohol

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can cause carcinoma of

liver

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the liver

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, coronary artery disease, hypertension, diabetes and stroke, it actually disrupts the white matter of our

brain

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and has detrimental effects on

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brain

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the brain

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like poor judgement,

brain

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impairment and

brain

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damage.

As a result

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, it often leads to criminal

offense

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offenses

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, physical assaults, domestic violence and

accident

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accidents

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. Binge drinking not only decreases

heartrate

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heart rate

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variability but

also

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reduces

decision making

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decision-making

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capacity.

For example

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, Lithuania

had

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

introduced

the

Correct article usage

apply

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legislation restricting

alcohol

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promotion and it resulted in

significant

Correct article usage

a significant

show examples

declined

Wrong verb form

decline

show examples

Use synonyms

alcohol related

Add a hyphen

alcohol-related

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morbidity and mortality.

Furthermore

Linking Words

alcohol

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promotion increases the chances of buying and consuming it more. Expensive

alcohol

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brands tend to publicise their products and sway their customers unfairly and actually do not

explicit

Change the word

explicitly

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the downsides of it. The main objective of liquor owners is to sell more and they never

entails

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entail

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the high risks of potential diseases.

For instance

Linking Words

, Cognac brand ambassadors often portray

well known

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well-known

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models and actors drinking cognac with an exquisite lady in a lavish setting. In conclusion,

alcohol

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is a toxic product as it can cause various

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alcohol induced

Add a hyphen

alcohol-induced

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diseases and

alcohol

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adverts should be discouraged to avoid

it's

Replace the word

its

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adverse effects on public health.

asmitakhatri490Wed Jan 17 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure your essay has a clear and logical structure, with distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should focus on one main point and be connected to the overall argument through clear transitions.

coherence cohesion

While your main points were supported, they could be enhanced by providing more detailed examples and linking them directly back to the question prompt throughout your essay. Aim to explain how each point directly supports your agreement with the ban on alcohol advertisement.

task achievement

Your essay addresses the task, but there is room to develop a more nuanced argument with a mix of general statements and specific examples. To achieve a higher score, expand on your ideas by offering broader insights into the implications of banning alcohol ads and how it aligns with societal benefits.

task achievement

When providing examples, ensure they are specific, relevant, and effectively illustrate your point. Avoid making generalizations without sufficient evidence. Reference studies or report findings to substantiate your arguments and boost your essay's credibility.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

236 words

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In many countries, it is now illegal to advertise alcohol. Do you agree or disagree?

Your opinion

Some people like to spend their leisure time with their colleagues, while others prefer to keep their private life separate from their work life. Is it a good thing to spend leisure time with a colleague?

being a celebrity such as star bring a lot of problems and benefits.

Some people argue that all experimentation on animals is bad and should be outlawed. However, others believe that important scientific discoveries can be made from animal experiments. Can experimentation on animals be justified? Are there any alternatives?

Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays many elderly people are living alone and this can cause a variety of problems. What are some of these problems, and what solutions can you suggest?