In many countries, it is now illegal to advertise alcohol. Do you agree or disagree?

Alcoholic beverages are banned at the present.

This

Linking Words

essay completely

agree

Change the verb form

agrees

show examples

with

this

Linking Words

initiative because

alcohol

Use synonyms

can cause serious health conditions and

it's

Correct your spelling

its

show examples

promotion leads to buying, & consuming more. To commence with, Major health problems are associated with drinking

alcohol

Use synonyms

. Consuming excessive

amount

Fix the agreement mistake

amounts

show examples

alcohol

Use synonyms

can cause carcinoma of

liver

Add an article

the liver

show examples

, coronary artery disease, hypertension, diabetes and stroke, it actually disrupts the white matter of our

brain

Use synonyms

and has detrimental effects on

Use synonyms

brain

Add an article

the brain

show examples

like poor judgement,

brain

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impairment and

brain

Use synonyms

damage.

As a result

Linking Words

, it often leads to criminal

offense

Fix the agreement mistake

offenses

show examples

, physical assaults, domestic violence and

accident

Fix the agreement mistake

accidents

show examples

. Binge drinking not only decreases

heartrate

Correct your spelling

heart rate

show examples

variability but

also

Linking Words

reduces

decision making

Add a hyphen

decision-making

show examples

capacity.

For example

Linking Words

, Lithuania

had

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

introduced

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

legislation restricting

alcohol

Use synonyms

promotion and it resulted in

significant

Correct article usage

a significant

show examples

declined

Wrong verb form

decline

show examples

Use synonyms

alcohol related

Add a hyphen

alcohol-related

show examples

morbidity and mortality.

Furthermore

Linking Words

alcohol

Use synonyms

promotion increases the chances of buying and consuming it more. Expensive

alcohol

Use synonyms

brands tend to publicise their products and sway their customers unfairly and actually do not

explicit

Change the word

explicitly

show examples

the downsides of it. The main objective of liquor owners is to sell more and they never

entails

Change the verb form

entail

show examples

the high risks of potential diseases.

For instance

Linking Words

, Cognac brand ambassadors often portray

well known

Add a hyphen

well-known

show examples

models and actors drinking cognac with an exquisite lady in a lavish setting. In conclusion,

alcohol

Use synonyms

is a toxic product as it can cause various

Use synonyms

alcohol induced

Add a hyphen

alcohol-induced

show examples

diseases and

alcohol

Use synonyms

adverts should be discouraged to avoid

it's

Replace the word

its

show examples

adverse effects on public health.

asmitakhatri490

Jan 17, 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure your essay has a clear and logical structure, with distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should focus on one main point and be connected to the overall argument through clear transitions.

coherence cohesion

While your main points were supported, they could be enhanced by providing more detailed examples and linking them directly back to the question prompt throughout your essay. Aim to explain how each point directly supports your agreement with the ban on alcohol advertisement.

task achievement

Your essay addresses the task, but there is room to develop a more nuanced argument with a mix of general statements and specific examples. To achieve a higher score, expand on your ideas by offering broader insights into the implications of banning alcohol ads and how it aligns with societal benefits.

task achievement

When providing examples, ensure they are specific, relevant, and effectively illustrate your point. Avoid making generalizations without sufficient evidence. Reference studies or report findings to substantiate your arguments and boost your essay's credibility.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

236 words

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In many countries, it is now illegal to advertise alcohol. Do you agree or disagree?

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Some people think that e-books are better to be used for education in order to go paperless. Discuss its advantages and disadvantages. Give your own opinion

Many governments spend too much money on weapons and military equipment. It would be better for the government to use the money spent on the military to improve its citizens' quality of life. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?