In many countries, it is now illegal to advertise alcohol. Do you agree or disagree?
Alcoholic beverages are banned at the present.
This
essay completely agree
with Change the verb form
agrees
this
initiative because alcohol
can cause serious health conditions and it's
promotion leads to buying, & consuming more.
To commence with, Major health problems are associated with drinking Correct your spelling
its
alcohol
. Consuming excessive amount
of Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
alcohol
can cause carcinoma of liver
, coronary artery disease, hypertension, diabetes and stroke, it actually disrupts the white matter of our Add an article
the liver
brain
and has detrimental effects on brain
like poor judgement, Add an article
the brain
brain
impairment and brain
damage. As a result
, it often leads to criminal offense
, physical assaults, domestic violence and Fix the agreement mistake
offenses
accident
. Binge drinking not only decreases Fix the agreement mistake
accidents
heartrate
variability but Correct your spelling
heart rate
also
reduces decision making
capacity. Add a hyphen
decision-making
For example
, Lithuania had
introduced Unnecessary verb
apply
the
legislation restricting Correct article usage
apply
alcohol
promotion and it resulted in significant
Correct article usage
a significant
declined
in Wrong verb form
decline
alcohol related
morbidity and mortality.
Add a hyphen
alcohol-related
Furthermore
, alcohol
promotion increases the chances of buying and consuming it more. Expensive alcohol
brands tend to publicise their products and sway their customers unfairly and actually do not explicit
the downsides of it. The main objective of liquor owners is to sell more and they never Change the word
explicitly
entails
the high risks of potential diseases. Change the verb form
entail
For instance
, Cognac brand ambassadors often portray well known
models and actors drinking cognac with an exquisite lady in a lavish setting.
In conclusion, Add a hyphen
well-known
alcohol
is a toxic product as it can cause various alcohol induced
diseases and Add a hyphen
alcohol-induced
alcohol
adverts should be discouraged to avoid it's
adverse effects on public health.Replace the word
its
Submitted by asmitakhatri490 on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure your essay has a clear and logical structure, with distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should focus on one main point and be connected to the overall argument through clear transitions.
coherence cohesion
While your main points were supported, they could be enhanced by providing more detailed examples and linking them directly back to the question prompt throughout your essay. Aim to explain how each point directly supports your agreement with the ban on alcohol advertisement.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the task, but there is room to develop a more nuanced argument with a mix of general statements and specific examples. To achieve a higher score, expand on your ideas by offering broader insights into the implications of banning alcohol ads and how it aligns with societal benefits.
task achievement
When providing examples, ensure they are specific, relevant, and effectively illustrate your point. Avoid making generalizations without sufficient evidence. Reference studies or report findings to substantiate your arguments and boost your essay's credibility.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?