Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
It is argued that diverse
custom
and generations can be brought together by Fix the agreement mistake
customs
music
. I strongly agree with this
idea as music
is a powerful universal language which promote
the same Change the verb form
promotes
feeling
among individuals.
Fix the agreement mistake
feelings
Music
is a good way to give people
a sense of community and unity in the world
. For instance
, several years ago, Aid
concert Correct article usage
an Aid
has been
held in the UK and the USA to help desperate Wrong verb form
was
polestinian
Correct your spelling
Palestinian
people
. Moreover
, in resent
decades, Correct your spelling
recent
new
generation of musicians Add an article
a new
the new
mix
different types of Wrong verb form
mixed
music
from all over the world
and make
a new kind of Wrong verb form
made
music
which can derive
Verb problem
draw
people
's attention and make the
curious about other types of Correct pronoun usage
them
music
in the world
. For example
, in my country
Homayun Shajarian who is a leading singer in my country has combined our traditional Add a comma
country,
music
with the
western metal Correct article usage
apply
music
. After that, The majority of Iranian listeners were interested to know more about metal and rock music
.
Furthermore
, music
can act as a bridge Change preposition
to generation
generation
gaps. These days many TV Change preposition
to generation
program
are aired for the purpose of Change to a plural noun
programs
detect
individuals with potential skills in Change the verb form
detecting
music
from all over the world
Such
as American
ideal and X factor . These programs Correct article usage
the American
are
appeal Unnecessary verb
apply
among
folks Change preposition
to
with
different ages from Change preposition
of
a
Correct article usage
apply
kid
to Fix the agreement mistake
kids
an
elderly. Correct article usage
the
BY
way of example, in my family, my siblings and my parents sit together at the weekend to watch American Correct your spelling
By
ideal
, Capitalize word
Ideal
discus
about Correct your spelling
discuss
Add an article
the participant
a participant
participant
Fix the agreement mistake
participants
,
and anticipate the winner. Remove the comma
apply
Thus
, music
can be a good reason to get a family together and strengthen their family bonds.
In conclusion, in my opinion, music
can counteract language
barrier and link Correct article usage
the language
people
with various culture
emotionally through concerts and groundbreaking Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
music
as well as
it can bring different ages together through TV programs .Submitted by kmibehnaz98 on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea, followed by supporting sentences that expand on that idea. Avoid mixing multiple main ideas in a single paragraph to maintain clarity.
coherence cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices to connect ideas and paragraphs, but avoid overusing them. This includes linking words, synonyms, and referring words, which can all help the reader follow your argument.
coherence cohesion
The introduction should clearly state your opinion on the topic, while the conclusion should succinctly summarize your main points and restate your opinion. Both should be distinct and evidently present.
task achievement
Your essay should thoroughly address all parts of the task prompt. Each paragraph should contribute to your overall argument and answer the question posed.
task achievement
Clarify and develop your ideas throughout the essay. Use specific examples and explanations to illustrate your points and demonstrate your argument's validity.
task achievement
To achieve a higher score, provide specific examples that are directly relevant and detailed. Examples should convincingly support your argument and show a clear connection to the main point of the paragraph.